Still learning.......

Looking back, one more year passed......

This is my third year with DSLR. I had set few targets for this year; few are achieved and few are not. Last year I also wondered that, how long this hobby does lasts. ( aarmbha shooratva). I was not really sure about this would last for three years!! Since I am not an inherently artistically oriented person or I never drew any good drawings. Somehow, I am crossing this third year and going to fourth year. I must admit that unlike first and second year third year was less eventful. I wanted to learn lighting and hence the flash. I got two used flashes, but it was bit more complicated than I thought and more demand for time and space. With my daughter running around, forget about the setting up a light stand. So hopefully this year I will do that.

I noticed that, I started taking less number of photos and fewer crops. Still pre-visualization is beyond my capacity. Meanwhile I also observed that bit of ego and I am great feeling creeping in, fortunately I was observing that carefully, I was able to get over with some difficulty (here). Unlike last 2 years, I became extremely choosy about what I take. Even many times I find something beautiful nice or interesting I avoided that since it was already a cliché in internet, nothing new I could add into it. Doing new more creative rather than repletion is extremely difficult. Unlike regular shoot , thinking new making unique above that making a story and most important adding emotion to it – I felt bit too much for my current level of creative maturity.

This year I did good amount of street photography, especially portraits. The time has changed, and people don’t like their photo taken by a stranger. Many times I was asked to delete the photo. Luckily camera/lens was not broken by them!! Good street photography is an ideal mix of daring and timing. Well, I need to add light and composition to those photos. 

Missed opportunities – or did not carry camera- un-photographable ( a site my cousin suggested) – but photography taught that lesson , yes missed opportunities ( low light, wrong setting , abstractions, photography not allowed, fast moving subject , many more) but more opportunities wait in the future.

Not to crib about the last things, make new things, think above the crowd, make it possible, look for opportunity and be prepared to grab that and use it.

Life is all about journey not about destination.

Thoughts

First thought 

Caught in the thought web

 In my childhood days, one dream recurred every night. In the dream, huge stones were rolling down towards me, and I have no way to go. Suddenly all of them disappear. This dream was a fear factor for me. May be by the age of 16, that dream stopped. I got along with the life. However, that feeling remained with me. Now many times, I feel so insecure about everything. Although everything is in place, some unknown fear / threat bothered me often, especially in the evenings.

Evening- rough sea and cold wind blowing across

 I tried to give a voice to this fear in a poem and a prose. Recently I took few photos, and those photos evoked the similar fearful evening feeling. 

Thoughts are like monkeys - you need to tie it- is it possible?

Shall I think about past or left out future?

Telescope is useless in search of peace

Second thought

The Mumbai city cared for every one or it never bothered for any one. When I stepped out of a bus on a Borivili bridge, it gulped me. Millions around, but I felt alone. In one kannada song, the a orphan boy comes to city and he finds no place to stay, and on the background one song – there is a song “so many houses here, which one is mine”.

Bus of thoughts- travelers ( thoughts) come and go- I stand here alone

Young thoughts in crowd

Third thought

Here is a man who is lost and rest of the word is looking something else. Many occasions it is that feeling "you are  alone" makes you very uneasy and uncertain. It is immaterial that who is there around you, what kind of material things you posses or money you have, you feel naked or just mind no body. That time I always feel and wish I could become a bird, fly away to far off places in search of peace. I know I may not get peace but at least I am happy that I as searching something. Life is nothing but searching. The meaningful search make it bearable and meaningless search make is agony and no search make you sad. 

Alone in the crowd

Fly away

Searching future for the child

Photos

Here are the photos which represent (may be) the feel of lost. Interestingly,children or adult, we get lost in thoughts irrespective of the place. In traffic, functions, seashores and almost everywhere.   

Lonely walks

Somewhere outside

Am I a stone or living one?

I too think!!

Lost in smoke of thoughts

Wrinkles of thoughts

Lost in traffic of thoughts

Lost in traffic of thoughts-

A artificial Mustache made me think more about uncertain future?

We too get lost in thoughts!!

Selling flowers- where are fruits?

Not just face even body is lost in thoughts