Hundred sixty four

This is the last entry of 2019. The goal set was entry per day. I could achieve the target up to 45%/. The funniest part is that on many days I could not spare 10 mins to make an entry. Often I was out of the subject and sitting here and wondering what to write? Lessons learnt are 1. Writing is difficult; 2. You should be more observant to write better; 3. My English is still not great; 4. I am not that smart in finding new subjects for writing.;5. I am not consistent. 

Hundred sixty three

My daughter was supposed to write her own poem for her school, here is what I wrote for her


I think I blink
All I do is a wink
with a naughty prank

Kid, oh yes I am,
I do stuff
You can't even do with a huff
And the word impossible
is not my decibel
All I say is everything is possible 

Hundred sixty two

I dragged myself to write this. It is so difficult to write a few lines. My respect for even a scrappy writer has increased. It is not about writing but about discipline. I need to do something about getting away from the Internet. I was thinking, the smartphone is a just brick or just a camera without the Internet. I am so happy that my office doesn't allow phones! but sadly the internet is allowed on PC. Maybe I should sit in the library for long hours. 

Hundred sixty one

Recently visited Switzerland. I was going from a country with a per capita income of 1,939.61 USD to a country with per capita income 80,189.70 USD and that is 80 fold more income. The entire country is like a 5-star hotel, everything is organized and free-flowing. I came back with the thought "we have a long way to go"

Hundred and sixty

From childhood, I drank milk coffee. But most of the purists drink coffee without milk. I was surprised to know that. I thought those are stupid and don't know the taste of the coffee. Now I am trying to shift over to "coffee".  But it is so difficult to drink coffee without milk; Every day morning I decide that today onwards I will shift to without milk coffee but end up drinking regular coffee (with milk!).  There are so many things easy to think but difficult to implement. 

Hundred fifty nine

Few mutations that altered the brain lead to Homo sapiens. Our brain is unique in the animal kingdom. One thing fascinated me is a never-ending "desire.". There are many books on how to live simple, zen-like, etc. In reality, we as a species always want new things, new comforts. This greed has led to wars and crimes. Is it good or bad? This desire has pushed us out of the forest and brought us to the present state of living condition. Do I want to go back to the forest? probably no. I love philosophy like many others but living the philosophy is a tough task, since it is against the fundamental nature of the brain, pushing the boundaries of desire. 

Hundred and fifty eight

Looking around the room and looking around the brain, is there something to write. What to write is not the issue but have to write is the contention. Once you force yourself to sit and write anything under the sun, you end up in writing something. After 10 months of writing, I realized that being an author is a tough job. 

Hundred fifty seven

Today is Deepavali. The festival entire country celebrates and you get tons of wishes. I just want to celebrate this festival as best as I could. Living purposefully for one full day! 

Hundred fifty six

State elections are over. The government has a tough task ahead. If I am in power, this is my road map.

1. water problem- excess and deficit 

2. farmer support system

3. De-Urbanization - or smaller cities.

4. Education - skill based 

5. Roads

6. Bring in a new industry to less developed parts

7. Implement a good state-level health scheme for all - middle class and upper-middle class with a reasonable premium basis

8. Spend less on government machinery 

9. Each constituency should have its own website / whatsup number for people to contact and get their problem solved.

10. Visit the constituency once a month. 

Hundred fifty five

I and my daughter both missed our routine yesterday. Today also almost missed. I hope I should come up with something to write. I should be able to write nothing about shortcomings I see around me. I should be able to see some good things around me. Or I should find out some solutions to shortcomings, can I find out? Long back I had read, you can only complain if you have the capacity to change the situation if you have capacity change instead of complaining. There are so many things which are easy to say and difficult to follow. 

Hundred fifty four

Today was Saturday. Most of the day well spent, and the rest was a holiday. Diet plans did not work. Weight is struck in the upper circuit. The dieting and losing weight become more tough as I am getting old. Will power is in limited supply and body has slowed down but desire to sugar remains. I do want to achieve great things, but my mind is lazy. It is fun to fight with myself and not accepting the fact that I am meant to do mediocre stuff in life and not to become great. I keep reading personality development books, productivity books and motivation books, and at 45 I am still searching for that magic formula which would change me forever. Hmm, I know that will not happen but I am addicted to these books and trying new formulas for success in life. 

Hundred fifty three

I love observing monkeys. They jump around and kind of pest in the urban area. In the forest, they have to forage from morning to evening to get enough calories. In the city getting the calories is very easy. The rest of the time is free for having sex and gang wars. Because of the high reproduction cycle, the group size expands rapidly. The alpha male fails to control a big group and soon young males try to form new groups. 
Do they have a purpose? Do we have a purpose? Or for things we do and create we call it purpose? As a social animal, we moved to a different level in the life. But do our brain got enough time to evolve and adapt to our newly created world which is so different from forests and grasslands. 

Hundred fifty two

Concentration is a scary word for me. I can't concentrate. I can concentrate only when I am reading fiction. People say we need to practice that. I think we are evolved to pay attention to surroundings and keep scouting for a predator. Question is, how do I practice concentration? I have to do meditation? or sit in a remote place devoid of distractions. Or stay in a most distracting place and achieve concentration?

Hundred fifty one

Today I used backspace more than any other key! Writing about random things is tough. I was reading about the use of " articles" in the English language. It is tricky for a non- English speaking people to use the right articles at the right place in a sentence. My English learning is still in progress. 

Hundred and fifty

At last, I reached some landmark. I wrote crap, but I wrote. I need to write more. I know that purposeful practice would take to the next level. That means I should read more about writing before writing. My attempt to improve my English grammar has reached to some level. So I need to read more about grammar. Any way I look at this nothing to replace reading. Even to improve reading I have to read. I also observe that now I lack concentration and can't concentrate as I was young. That may be a myth as smartphone and internet may have taken away my concentration. I need to work on my concentration. 

Hundred forty nine

Time is like holding the sand. The more effort you put to save, you will lose more of it. Checklists do help. They are like a railway track, allow you to go on singletrack without getting lost. The car can go in so many ways on the road and that way you lose the way. Time being I will stick with checklists as a productive tool and try to save some time. 

Hundred and forty eight

Some say checklists are useless and others say they save the world. For me making a checklist is a boring thing and often I avoid looking at one! But checklists save the time and reduces the stress for sure. I can make a long checklist and sure that I won't complete it, but I will do 50% of them and feel good about that. For time being let me stick with checklists. I am using Google Tasks and that I can carry everywhere and it is simple and intuitive. 

Hundred forty seven

Here I am. Dragged me from YouTube. Morning is so nice and fresh. Still, I did not use that; I was feeling sleepy, and I found that a perfect excuse to waste time on the net. All of us know time is limited and still waste it. How do I convince my brain about the limited availability of time? All my life I have been reading self- improvement books and biographies hoping for a miracle that makes me successful. However, the definition of success keeps changing in each decade of life. Already a lot of time has been wasted and little has been done. I need to hurry. I am so afraid to keep a diary for food and time. 

Hundred forty six

Theory and practice are so distant. I know all the recipes for the most successful person in my life. But I can't implement that. Our brain is hard-wired for instant gratification. I know that if I write this blog every day and write more and write on a specific subject and research and write on a specific topic, my writing skill would improve. However, I am not doing that. Because it is not a pleasurable experience as reading twitter. Being a successful writer and that happiness may happen after 5 years of writing and till then the brain is starved of pleasure. According to the timetable, I have to write for another five minutes. Already I am running out of the subject. As a species, we have evolved to live in the present moment. No animals plan for a long-term future. Some animals store food but definitely don't have 3 years or 5 years road map!  

Hundred forty five

Do I love my country?
My country lacks many things but I don't feel left out or I need not live like a fugitive. I don't know the feeling of people who are staying abroad. But whenever I travel there, I feel like I am being observed by an invisible eye. It is like staying in a relative's house, though hosts are great, you never feel "at home" feeling. It is just my opinion.
I love my country? yes I love my country for many reasons I can list here since they are abstract. It is like I love some places in my house or I prefer to sit in a particular place on a sofa - it is like that, I just love this country.

On similar lines, Tagore's poem:

BLESSED AM I that I am born to this land and that I had the luck to love her.

What care I if queenly treasure is not in her store but precious

enough is for me the living wealth of her love.

The best gift of fragrance to my heart is from her own flowers

and I know not where else shines the moon that can flood my

being with such loveliness.

The first light revealed to my eyes was from her own sky and let

the same light kiss them before they are closed for ever.

Hundred forty four

I am trying to teach my daughter maths by implementing "atomic habits". However, I am supposed to practice that by writing the blog every day to improve my writing skill. Unfortunately, I preached a lot and practising very little. Hence I am back here. 

Hunred forty three

When you see or read a inspirational story and you are all pumped up. But with the time that fades away. The inspirational story would inspire you but often don't kick start. I feel just like car wont start with low battery. It cranks up and stops after some time. You need to find a better more impactful inspirational story to kick start your own inspirational journey. I assume very few people could keep their mental state at hyper level all the time and most of us unable to do so. Is there a method to do that? Trying to find one. 

Hundred and forty two

That was a long break. I heard success is all about consistency. I missed this for a while. Let me write more tomorrow. 

Hundred forty one

I am coming back to write this. Laziness and procrastination are so strong that they just don't allow a new habit to form. Luckily, I have kept this thing flexible and I am not hard on myself for missing a few days. Though that is tricky, once you miss one day, there is a high chance that you miss many more days. I would like this to keep going. 

Hundred and forty

A taxi or auto ride in heavy traffic is utterly boring. If you are browsing the net on a phone, then all places on the earth are the same. Somehow, I can't browse the net on taxi travel around the city. I love to see around. I love to see new models of a car, how erratic drivers are, how skillfully some drivers maneuver in the traffic. But the best part is the conversation with taxi drivers. They represent the diversity of India. Being a taxi owner is the easiest way of self-employment. If you are ready to work hard and have infinite patience, then you can make your living. It is a back-breaking job but you need not report to a superior. Though all drivers are different, there is a common theme in these stories. 

Hundred thirty nine

You are inspired by a book and you put those principles in practice. With the time these new practices fade away. We tend to become lazy. I think I should re-read the book. Reading a good book, which is not a fiction takes a lot of effort.

Hundred thirty eight

Waited for the rain to stop. Just outside the door, a big puddle of water was there, skillfully I crossed that, had no intention of my feet getting wet. Sill, it was drizzling, walked up to the car. Unique odour prevails inside the car during the rainy season. Started the car, diesel engine came to life with an irritating sound.  Here no one has time, one bike, two cars just waiting impatiently for us to reverse and before I reversed the car one car sneaked through the narrow gap. The next stop was a temple. It is wet all over; I have to take off my slippers, wet feeling hmmm I am not liking it. The temple was peaceful except for a swarm of flies! they don't bite but irritates you to the core, just like some people don't harm you but irritates by all means. The temple bells are ringing, people are praying and I am searching for a mobile signal so I can get the latest updates on Wimbledon finals.

- trying to write some fiction.

Hundred thirty seven

I almost forgot to write. Lost in watching YouTube. YouTube is one of the best places to learn new things and the greatest sucker of your time. I have tried many things to escape from its clutches but in vain. You should never give up! Keep trying. 

Hundred and thirty six

Other day I had been to dinner on the city side. The restaurant was busy; we had to wait for half an hour. I was walking around and found a bookshop. All books for the same price, you pick up anything. I often break my promise of not buying any paper books. I picked up two books. One of them was a random choice, a book by the author Haruki Murakami, whom I never read nor heard. The book was "Men Without Women". What a happy accident, I loved that book. I completed two stories and tempted to finish the book. I kept it like that so I can read one story a day! I loved the style and narration. I wish I had read it in Japanese. 

Hundred thirty five

Why we have diversity? animals, culture, language and many more. It is evolution. Evolution's ingredients are natural selection and isolation.
I grew up in a small village in India. India has over 1600 languages. The food habits, dressing, rituals and culture vary dramatically, even within a 50 km radius. There is a huge cultural variation between state to state, north to south and east to west. But now, mobility of the population has increased because of the job and availability of easy transportation. Earlier marriages took place within 20 to 30 km and all relatives stayed closed by. This mixing of the population is eroding cultural diversity. Languages are disappearing, all are speaking a common language. Is it good or bad?  I am not sure; I believe that we are going along with the changing time. 

Hundred thirty four

When you relax a rule for a day, you are slipping on the downhill. I don't find the material to write about or that is the excuse to spend more time on the internet. I need to make a list of subjects, study each subject for half an hour and write about it. For the next five days here are the subjects.

1. Accents in language
2. Mobility and loss of diversity
3. Blind love of kids
4. Indian education
5. Talking to strangers  

Hundred thirty three

I opened the window. There was a smile on my face. Monsoon is here, in Mumbai. We have all tech and quantum computing but still at the mercy of nature.

Hundred thirty two

I should admit that I lack the concentration to read serious stuff. I bought so many books and most are not read. Sill I am worried about the books borrowed by friends. Even though they return on time, I doubt I will read them. I tried all things to put back my reading habit on track. Like, I bought a new reading lamp, got a wall stand next to my PC or plan like read one page per day and many more. The last book I read end to end was Atomic habits. The book was good and had a long lasting impression on my routine. I should re-read that book. 

Hundred thirtyone

The water problem is a serious issue. The rain patterns are erratic and global warming is true. Often the future looks bleak. Rainwater harvesting, water recycling and new taps and flushes are need of the day. In the rural area, the water problem is worst. All farmers want to be on the par with city dwellers and city people can't comment on this attitude (but often they do!). So farmers are growing cash crops which demand a lot of water. Farmers also want to grow the crop 365 days. This needs electricity and water. There are no policy or rule framework regulate water and power use. So they use both with no thought about the future, groundwater is plummeting and a severe shortage of power. Can we blame farmers? they are surviving and aspiring to go up in social strata. Therefore, we need a comprehensive policy. In the present government, there is a new water ministry and hope that something will be done.  

Hundred thirty

I am becoming more irregular in blogging. Some days I found it stupid and other days I ignored it. I should admit that the internet is the most wonderful thing happened in this millennium and the internet is the one which took away valuable time from all of us. I keep fighting this and losing most of the time to the powerful INTERNET. I should not give up.   

Hundred twenty nine

Sitting in front of a PC and don't know what to write. Stephen King told that if you don't know what to write, better to wash the car. Monsoon has started and I can't go out and wash the car. My daughter taught me that if you push yourself, you can tell a story every night. The stories are good some nights and bad on another. I have taken up this assignment of writing every day, just to improve the writing skills and discipline of sitting at one place for 15 mins. 

Hundred twenty eight

The PC was down. Therefore, I skipped a few days. I could have written on my laptop, but you know, I can give an excuse. I know all the ingredients of success and unable to put into practice. From past few days, I am practising not being hard on myself. Just wondering is it right or wrong.

Hundred twenty-seven

Still, four minutes left before 12 and the next day. Reasonably well spent first half and wasted the second half. It is ok, let me make some plans for tomorrow which will start within 3 minutes. 

Hundred twenty six

Hundred twenty-five

If I go fast, I will reach fast. More risk more reward. The ultimate gamble in life is when to take a risk and not. Someone would tell take a calculated risk. There is nothing called a calculated risk. The person who knows that calculation would win the race with the help of luck. Shall I take "the risk"

Hundred twenty four

Hypocrisy no one wants to talk about. When I am driving, I found all jaywalkers so annoying. Now I am walking and I get annoyed with all the drivers and I expect them to drive dead slow. I keep observing myself and I find it so fascinating how our brain works. It tries to maximize the benefit for the body which carries it around. We call this hypocrisy. Maybe!

Hundred twenty-three

Today I went cycling after 2 months break. The reason for a break is a small accident and laziness. Habits just melt away. You should be at it. Felt good after one-hour cycling. I went for a leisurely ride rather than finishing 15 km in 30 mins. One thing I realized, if you set up impossible goals/rules more often you break them. We should set up moderate goals so that less inhibition will be there to do that. 

Hundred and twenty-two

I was browsing through old photos and realized that I haven't edited so many of them. I always thought photos must be aesthetically pleasing. Fundamentally photography is meant for accurate documenting, later photography was considered as an art form. I started photography to document my daughter and now I consider photography more of an art. Looking at a decade old photos, I also realized that, how volatile our memory is. 

Hundred twenty-one

Working in compartments. I found myself distracted by small incidents. These incidents keep hitting me like waves and spoil an entire day. or am I fooling myself, because I don't want to work, just act like distracted? I need to introspect myself. Introspection is like plumbing work, you need to take out dirty things from the clogged pipeline. When you dive into your own brain, you see how dirty and shallow you are. Often clean water is at the top, if you get to the bottom, the dirt and sludge stirred and float to the top, now you can see that smell it and it is YOU. 

Hundred twenty

Learning your limitations is a difficult task. After understanding your limitations, overcoming them is a much tougher task. From childhood, I am poor at drawing. Now in my forties, I am planning to learn to draw. I prefer a coach or teacher but that is beyond my reach. So I have searched a few online courses. This weekend I will register. I hope learning to draw would improve my photomontage capabilities. 

Hundred nineteen

Often I think I know everything. Do I really know? or I assume that I know. Why all humans think they are the masters of the subject. This common blindness is great fun or tragedy of society. I keep testing myself if I am a given a topic to talk,  on a subject on which I think I am an expert, am I capable of talking? Unfortunately, most of the time I am not an expert. It takes time and effort to be an expert in a subject. 

Hundred eighteen

Time is the fastest entity. Two days of my life disappeared before I realized. I am lazy and ambitious. This is not the right combination. But this is a fact. How to resolve this? till date, I haven't found a way out. These two personalities fight with each other and each day one would win. Therefore, some days I am very industrious and motivated and a few other days I am a lethargic, lazy and self-pitying person. On lazy days I have no reason for hard work. On a motivated day, I want to learn everything from art to physics. Well, today I realized this and looks like today "laziness" has won its day!

Hundred seventeen

Indian team is in finals of the world cup. All are excited and tensed. Will the winning or losing change our lives? Not really. But we are emotionally connected to many events happening around us. This brings in stress and exhilaration. These emotions attached to a sports team, a favourite actor, a TV serial or a political party make our life more colourful. The attached emotion take up your time and energy, more than that it leaves you with an exhausted feeling after the event.  

Hundred sixteen

Why do we seek approval of others? Does, this behaviour has evolutionary significance? As a social animal, there is a social hierarchy. This hierarchy is formed by formal or informal approval of fellow members of our species. If this argument is right, then we keep looking around for a kind of approval from someone else. Though many books and philosophers say go with your dream, rely on your internal assessment, give none attention to other's comments and judgements, etc. Well, this doesn't work, because we are genetically wired to seek approval from others. 

Hundred fifteen

After the weekend, you are back to work. That day you feel so lethargic and frustrated. It is like you are loaded with a lead brick. One side of yours says work, work, and work. But the whole body just won't budge. This mixture of desire to and being lazy same time is a strange and dangerous mix. All I learned about this sate is that just allow the time to pass and you automatically become ok in 4 to 6 hours. There is no point in pushing yourself at that moment. 

Hundred fourteen

We are one more species on the planet. We too evolved like other animals. All the animals we see today because they could pass on their DNA to the next generation. Essentially, the species which has perfected the art of passing on the DNA to the next generation are successful. What about us? We often forget that we are animals and try to make many rules and morality. But deep inside us, one thing is happening that is, you can pass on your DNA to your progeny. Whether you pass on is immaterial, but we evolved for that. Once we understand this many actions around us become more clear. 

Hundred thirteen

Humans don’t learn from a book or by another person’s experience. But, few learn from mistakes. All new endeavour goes through the same path. Let us say photography. All start with a simple camera, move to point and shoot camera (now mobile), next DSLR, later mirror-less, then full frame that is the progressive upward movement of want. Then the tale of the lens. Kit lens, pro zoom, prime, fast prime, telezoom, tele prime, macro, wide angle never-ending story. After going through this and losing money on all these things, I suggest a newcomer to photography that; you buy this and these things are more than enough for photography. Do they listen? NO. They will go through their own journey through the landscape of camera and lenses. 

Hundred twelve

Learning English has been tough for me. Is it a hundred and twelve or a hundred twelve? I get these kinds of doubts. I tried to learn grammar and at the end that was a failure. Learning English for me seems like a lifelong effort 

Hundred eleven

Today nothing much to write. The city of Mumbai is for those who dream to become big. It has a place for everyone whoever is hungry for success. Nothing is asked; degree, country, cost or any other qualifiers. All you need to do is work hard and willing to work harder. You have a place here. Often you may not make it big here but your next generation will,.

Hundred ten

They say you need a filter between brain and mouth. Often that filter doesn't work. I often regret what I talked about. Again I do the same mistake. I should do something about this. I tried in the past but in vain.

Hundred nine

Why I am philosophizing life? Is it kind of escapism? Maybe I am lazy and finding some answers in philosophy. But in very difficult phases of my life, I found answers in philosophies and pushed me to a positive side of life. So let me give the benefit of doubt to philosophy. I enjoy finding some meaning in the total chaos of life. I know all the surrounding things are random and happened by chance. We are so sure about life and the future, even though all of us know that life is uncertain. When we see an accident or when we attend a funeral, we realize for a few minutes that uncertainty and we are back to normal secure feel. That is how we have evolved to have a hope of better things.  

Hundred eight

I started this blog in the morning. But nothing popped up in the brain. Now again I am here to write. Writing is a tough job. Long back I had read this book on writing  by Stephen King and he emphasis on the discipline of writing. I don't have a subject to write. So I need to read more, make notes and list out potential subjects on which I could write. All these needs more disciplined effort and getting out of comfort zone. Can I do this? Not sure, until now I haven't written a food diary, I suppose which to be the best way to keep track of food and lose weight. Oh, that is the topic for some other day. 

Hundred seven

Many recommend rereading a book. But I have so many unfinished books and scrambling for the time to reread. I also found that non-fiction books are difficult to read, you need to imbibe the ideas of the book. Often these ideas reverberate and make you read more on the net to understand that concept. Still, I need to practice proactively fast reading. The number of subjects interests me are vast and books available in all these areas are also extensive.  

Hundred six

Today I read a few pages of the book on stress. I have the 500-page book on stress and reached the 75th page. I learnt so much already on stress. Though I come from a biology background and masters in zoology, I was not aware of so many things. Hormones are crazy and they do too many things beyond our comprehension. What is more intriguing is the balance between amongst themselves. I need to ban YouTube to learn more! 

Hundred five

Languages are fun. I can’t learn new languages in a short time. Still, I learnt two languages during the past 20 years staying in Mumbai, Hindi and Marathi. Now I can understand the intricacies of these languages like tone, accent, flow, etc. But more to learn. Whenever I hear a good orator, I am awestruck by his/her flow of language, usage of words and the way present in a crisp and precise manner. I don’t want to learn to talk such as TED. I want to learn to talk like Abraham Lincoln. Too ambitious, isn’t it?

Hundred four

Listening to a podcast better than reading? What I observed is that when I am listening to audiobooks or podcasts, my mind wanders around and come back. However, when reading the book, if your focus shifts the reading halts. But podcasts are great to listen when you are doing mundane works like washing dishes or cleaning the bike, etc. Maybe success is all about concentrating your effort in one endeavour. I will do only one thing all my life and one day I regret that I haven’t read about or did something about. Let me not achieve anything great in one field but isn’t it fun to know many areas. Fine to die as unknown but during my time I saw and understood many things and doing so I enjoyed my life. 

Hundred three

Reading a book on stress. Weaning from the internet and reading a book is stress. Isn’t it a paradox? I observed that what I read on net evaporates much faster than a book. What I read on the internet is shallow both by the and attention. When you read a book (non-fiction) you have to think along with the author and often you don’t agree with the author and many times you appreciate the author’s opinions. This kind of thinking along with the reading make an impact and we remember for a long time. But this process has long-term benefits and lacks the short-term joy of internet nonsense reading. We are tuned to enjoy short-term benefits and is very difficult to convince the brain about long-term benefits. 

Hundred two

The new week has started. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. I posted this slogan on my hotel wall for 5 years and still, I often ignore this and do not start. Why we are so lazy. Or we evolved to conserve energy? Maybe. This is a very repeated thought keep coming to my mind and maybe I have already written about this. Looking away from a difficult situation than facing it is a common tendency. I neglect this and again I pull back and again do that. I need to do or face the task in a hand not bothered about a distant future

Hundred one

Today finally a small victory over the internet, I could read for an hour in the morning. I was reading a book  "why zebras don't get ulcers". Being from a zoology background it was an easy read. I read the first chapter. Still, I struggled with concentration and mind wandered often. I can read fiction for a long period. Today, Sunday, a lot of things to do. Just like me, my daughter also hooked to the internet. Now summer holidays, being a single kid she has nothing else to do. I need to find out some kind of summer camps or activities for her. It is near impossible to keep kids away from the internet. Some other day I will write about this struggle. 

Hundred

Some numbers are landmarks. Hundred is a landmark. I am in the 5th month of blogging and finally reached this landmark. Often I set goals and rarely put my efforts to achieve that. Somehow, this habit is sticking. This time I was not hard on myself. Whenever I missed the blog post to post or when I had nothing to write, I wrote a few lines and that helped.
I did some kind of introspection and found that I am interested in too many things. Starting from photography, video making, investment, cricket, learning maths, learning a computer language, writing a novel, learning better English and many more. Nothing is happening because I am focusing on too many things. All these things look like a mountain and I won't do anything. 

Ninety nine

Writing a blog or telling a story every day is difficult. I write with no specific idea or I sit and think for a while and start with a small idea. Sometimes the idea or experience has more substance and hence I could write better and more. Often the idea lack substance and I lack the research and hence blog post becomes small and ordinary. I tell a story to my daughter every night. I just start story set in either at sea or land or mountain and rarely in ice landscape. One leading character either boy or girl or fixed. Often one hero will fill many stories like Phantom or Mandrake stories. I often wonder about my brain and surprised by the story coming out of my mind. I never thought about that until I told the story. This also means that if you force yourself to write or tell a story, you can come up with an interesting story. 

Ninety eight

The economy of a village and a city are different. The mindsets are different. Even a rich person in a village values money more than its value and in the city, it is the opposite. Very small amount like Rs 5 ( 7 cents) is treated with a lot of respect in the village, they bargain for that for at least 10 mins! Village people have a lot of time and less money. However, Indian villages are changing fast and urbanization feel has come to the village. This is due to the internet via mobile. When we were in the village we desired for some colourful cloth or occasional hotel food and rarely cinema. The internet has piled up new desires; phones, TVs, microwaves, vehicles and many more. The simple self-sustainable economic environment is disappearing fast. All want to buy new things and build modern houses. This needs money. Now the village people are finding new ways to make money. The land is exploited, water is exhausted and farmers are moving up on the economic ladder. Is it wrong? I don't think so. Often people in the city comment on how all these things are happening in the rural side, something should be done about this. But city people are not ready to sacrifice the comforts of urban life. At the beginning of the industrial revolution, our species decided to enjoy the short term happiness ( like any other animal- no animal would consciously eat a plant or kill a prey thinking of saving the planet) and we set the destruction of the planet in motion. Near impossible to save now. Am I pessimistic? maybe. 

Ninety seven

Have you observed that always your Q moves slow? We all observed this. I found that my department is slow, my state is underperforming, my daughter is not scoring well, my country is not very rich,my.. this continues. Either I am very unlucky ending up always on the losing side or I am trying to highlight failures and shortcoming and overlooking much of things which worked, like ending up in a faster Q or my country winning the Cricket world cup etc. I need a more balanced outlook. 

Ninety Six

I went to my native place. When you go back to your village after a year, you will observe many new things. The most striking observation about our generation who moved from village to city is no social connection in either of the places. You come to a city with your own culture and customs and find it difficult to assimilate and make social connections. But my daughter who is born in the city is in perfect sync with social fabric here. Twenty-six years ago I have left my village. I know people from my generation, but not the new one. A sea of change has taken place in the village during this period and I found it difficult to connect. So neither I belong in the city nor in the village.  

Ninety five

Thoughts repeat. Therefore, what I write here may repeat. It is like music on loop. Raw materials for a thought process are a lifetime experience, book knowledge, knowledge derived from peers and many more. Now the brain mixes all these and makes some opinions or thoughts. Unless I go to a new place or I do a new job or I read a new book or I meet new people or develop a new outlook for the same old subject I won't be making new thoughts. When I observed all the great authors, they have all these ingredients and they keep accumulating new raw materials by keen observation of the world around them. If I have to improve my writing or if I have to put out new thoughts here I need to improve my observational powers!

Ninety four

Now it is 12.20 pm. So I happily wasted half a day of the holiday. In the morning I was thinking great things to do, even tried to learn "The Maths". But by 10 o clock, I had become what I am! When you waste time, one strange thing happens, you feel like munching something unhealthy. I don't know why that happens. So I had planned a big heavy blog post such as what to do with life etc,, now I am letting it go, no more feel like writing heavy stuff. For the moment let me not fight with "the philosopher" side of brian I will be happy today being "the lazy". 

Ninety three

It is so difficult to write. The professional writers have to write every day. Film scriptwriters have an even tougher job. I am hardly writing a few sentences every day and I found it difficult. I can pickup subject from a book and write on that. But bringing own subject out from deep pockets of the brain is a challenge and fun. Often things are hidden deep inside the brain pop out on unusual occasions. As I am getting old, I am confused with true memory and false memory. I found that many times I am so sure about the information which is incorrect. 

Ninety two

We were left with the extra time after hunting, gathering, eating, fighting and having sex. What to do with this time? First, we scribbled things on cave walls, later we carved stones, built better things and lazy ones started to make things in the brain and less lazy people wrote down. Finally, we were able to understand a bit of nature. Now all this information is sitting in front of you in the form of the INTERNET. The information available now is overwhelming. You are amazed or frustrated, what to learn? I am not sure, what all things I would love to learn; starting from mathematics to evolution.   

Ninety one

I know poverty is out there. I know how important money is? still, I tend to forget in the comfort of my life. Yesterday I went for a photoshoot at Dadar Market in Mumbai. Life is tough there. Competition is fierce. The selection pressure is ruthless. Evolution is in progress, survival of the fittest. I even saw a person, who recently lost his hand, maybe in a train accident. He was smoking and talking animatedly with his friend. Life goes on. No time to cry or self-pity, you need to fill your stomach. Philosophy is for me, not for them. One day in a similar market a roadside keysmith told me, if you desire the wealth around, even a million will be less for you! and he refused to take extra money from me. I will make a photoblog later.

Ninety

Every one love simple life. But no one wants to live one. I found that simple living is tough. As I said earlier, thinking and doing are in two different domain of life. The connector that connects these two domains is lazy. I wanted to do a project like one lens one camera. I keep searching in the net what should be that camera and lens. I am not buying too many things and hence let me buy the costliest one. How about that? Fundamentally I don't prefer simple living but I love talking about it and I appreciate and say wow when others do. The weekend has started and I have a list of things to do. Today I have maintained the weekday routine till now and hoping that I don't find a new series on Netflix and do not watch cricket in the evening.

Eighty nine

Guilty and regret are the same or different? Select, right-click and search in Google. The first hit takes me to Karen's Blogs. I did not read that blog. I will read it later. Doing something wrong and hiding it leads to guilty. More than that, you are not punished for the wrongdoing, and your consciousness keeps telling you about that. I waste time I regret that. I spend money. I regret that. Regret is a personal feeling of missing out something. You only can regret. But "guilty" you can feel it, or someone also can tell you that you are guilty of wrongdoing. I need to think more about this, while if you want to read more, you can go to the blog as mentioned earlier.

Eighty eight

Today morning I was listing to Ray Dalio. One thing that hit me very hard. He said he was more feared about boredom and mediocrity than failure. It struck me like a lightning bolt. It is right for me too. I need to do much more adventurous. 

Eighty Seven

As I was walking across the market, I saw a couple from a distance, and they were engaged in animated talk. All of us see anything unusual or usual we form an opinion. I thought about this couple why these people are fighting in public. As I approached them, I heard them and couple were talking in Kannada, that is my mother tongue. All of a sudden my opinion changed about them! Why so? In spite of knowing this bias, very often, I am a victim of that. Familiarity bias a strange thing. If a person belongs to your state or speak your language or belongs to your religion, without much thinking, we assume they are right. I suppose, when we have limited data points, the brain tries to find out some data, even it is absurd and irrelevant to make some decision. We can't remain uncertain, human brain always wants definitive answers.  

Eighty six

What is the purpose of my life? My purpose in life has been reset many times during the last 40 years. For the time being, I don't have any meaning. I am living in an auto mode. Do I need to think about purpose? I am living to live nothing more than that. I am not afraid of death. I am scared of " not leaving behind my footprint". I know that this word has marched ahead without keeping the account of the greatest accomplishments of the human race in the past. Still, I am carving for "being unique". Maybe this is my purpose of living. But the question is in what field do I excel and which skill would set me apart? This blog series is one such exercise to find the answer for this irritating question. 

Eighty five

The habits are difficult to keep. They are like a chain if one link is missed rest will miss. If I have to keep a habit going, I need to keep them every day including weekends. Once you miss a habit, next will be missed and by the time you are frustrated and lost patience and end up in binge surfing on the net. The Internet is basically promoting aimless wandering across so that you will see all the advertisements of all the companies across many websites. Oh yes, I am blaming the internet and time being I don't have enough will power for a thorough introspection. 

Eighty four

Yesterday I met with a minor accident. My left leg was sprained. By evening pain intensified and had to go to a doctor. When you get injured or sick you will notice that body part carefully and all of a sudden you realise the function of that body part in the day to day life! My left leg was sprained, just below the knee, top of the calf muscle. What is the function of this muscle? Not a scientific study but just an observation. You need this muscle for bending the leg and walking. Surprisingly not very significant for cycling. This muscle is crucial to balance on one leg in a slight slant position. I realised this when I am mounting on cycle/bike. You can't do sit-ups. Once the pain disappears, I don't pay attention to this. What does this mean? Our brain though knows theoretically that all parts of the body are essential for smooth functioning, the brain doesn't keep an account of that. This accounting will be too much work for the brain. So only when we get injured, the brain pays particular attention to that part. In life also we take many things granted. For example 24x7 internet availability, or ATM machine or fuel etc. Only we realise them when they are not available. The funniest part is, once service resumes we again get back to normal life. The brain only remembers very bitter, sad and traumatic incidents and not small mundane pain and loss. It is not like computer hard-disc, the brain makes its own choice of what to remember and what not and even we don't have any control over that.

Eighty three

ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಒಂದು ಕಷ್ಟದ ಕೆಲಸ. ಕನ್ನಡ ಬರೆಯದೆ ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಾದವು. ಓದಲು ಸುಲಭ ಆದರೆ ಬರೆಯಲು ಕಠಿಣ. 

I tried to write a few things in Kannada. Google has improved transliteration to a great extent. This gives me encouragement to write more in Kannada. In spite of reading and writing English from the past 30 years, I should say I have little or no grip on English. The effortlessness and fluency in Kannada is a different level. I have done all kind of courses, read many books and wrote many things in English. Still, I don't think I have command on this language. All I achieved is that now I can read English and appreciate a good writer. I can make out good and bad writing but I can't say why good is good and bad is bad. 

Eighty two

Some tasks look very simple and we think that that is so easy to do. However, the simple things are most difficult to do. I was supposed to sit quietly for 5 mins per day. It is more difficult than running 5 km. If you don't believe me, try it out for a week. I think and plan so many things and all of them look so easy and I feel I will do them with ease. But when that moment arrives I am lost. For example, I had planned to leave office one hour earlier, still, I am here sitting in front of PC and reading some stuff. 

Eighty one

What I am supposed to teach my daughter? I am sure about the irrelevance of the school. Today morning I was watching this Google talk Yuval Noah Harari: "21 Lessons for the 21st Century" | Talks at Google. Prof. Harari emphasis on emotional intelligence and capabilities to reinvent many times in life. This is an intriguing suggestion. But I have to study and understand these concepts so that I can teach this to my daughter.

Eighty

Enjoying a process is like meditation. When I am doing macro photography, I am deeply immersed in that. Angles, light and shallow depth of field takes me to another world. At the same time often I don't get a satisfactory end product (photo). Even more often the audience won't appreciate your work, and you feel frustrated. I know that I should not go by the judgement of others. But that is only theory, we have evolved to seek appreciation from fellow human beings. When my daughter wants to flaunt her new dress or pencil box, I feel irritated and would tell her, be simple, and that is not good to show off. But the Sotic sitting deep inside me would say, don't you expect that other people appreciate your photography. Don't you flaunt your F1.2 lens? Yes, I do. Let me keep my mouth shut. 

Seventy nine

I am pursuing photography from a decade. From the last two years, I had lost interest in photography. I was doing that but not with the enthusiasm of the beginning. Reading blogs, books and Youtube, I learnt that professionals don't care for mood, creativity or getting bored of doing a thing, they keep doing what they are doing. I too used similar mantra here. Whether I liked it or not I keep shooting and editing photos. Often it was boring and frustrating. Again I am back to photography and trying to even videography. It is obvious that I am spending more time on review sites and checking out prices. Though it doesn't help in improving photography, reading about gear and technology is fun. 

Seventy eight

Today is my daughter's result day! She is not worried. Worry is a big word at the age of 10. She is more concerned about her Youtube access than results. Here we are in the next generation. I am really not sure about the need for handwriting, and all those things taught in the school are relevant in 2030. The technology and the world is changing too fast. I really don't know what to teach her. But logic and common sense are needed forever. But there are hardly any tools and course to explain these two skill sets. I am also trying to teach her resilience, it is so difficult to teach. As a parent, I don't want to put her in difficult situations. However, without rough patches, you hardly learn lessons which no school nor university would teach. I am finding a way to stimulate conditions which seems harsh to her.  

Seventy seven

I keep reading many personality developments, productivity and positive thinking kind of books. It is a kind of addiction. Very often I failed to put them in practice. I was introduced to these kinds of books by my grandfather. I don't think he read these books. Because our home library doesn't contain this kind of books. He was worried about me and must have bought them exclusively for me. Now after more than 40 years, one strange realisation happened to me. Most of the things written in these books were practised by my grandfather in his day to day life. How did he know all these things? No idea, but a tough childhood, stressful life, in the beginning, must have taught him these pearls of wisdom. He accomplished great stuff in his life, and I think he wanted some of his kids or grand-kids would follow his footsteps. Unfortunately, none of us rose to his height. I would say we all got too much of comfort in life. 

Seventy six

From the past few months, my skin allergy has gone up. It is irresistible and you end up scratching and more you scratch more itching will popup. I found the same thing with shopping. One lens review would lead you to the shopping site and you are looking all around. This leads to taking a look at a new camera or a tripod or a flash. The chain is endless. Forcibly you move out away from the internet, it will subsidise and senses come back. It is true with itching also. If itching temptation is too high, you distract is by watching something or reading something or go for a jog, it will subside and eventually disappear. 

Seventy five

My flirting with stock market dates back to 2009. Somehow I failed to sustain the interest and momentum in investing. After one year of active investing, reading tons of books, I slipped back to passive investment through mutual funds. Whenever I hate to go to work, I wished I had financial retirement and do something else, I am stuck in the same job. When this topic pops up in the brain again, I get motivated to go to the stock market to make some money. I know after a decade in the market that becoming a real millionaire is a slow process. This year again I have started with the stock market, but not with great enthusiasm. Let me see how does it go. I also know that most of the wealthiest people on this planet got there by being in the right place at the right time and doing the right thing! Hoping luck favours ready mind, I am taking this jump. 

Seventy four

Discerning noise from signal in life brings mental peace. But often I found myself enjoying the noise. Because enjoying noise allow you to procrastinate. Why do I procrastinate? I found that I avoid certain uncomfortable situations. When I force myself into doing the things I don't want to do, I will finish the work and feel great about that. 

Seventy three

I missed two days of blogging. "Routine is the enemy of time" was the comment of a cyclist, who quit his job to cycling. According to him, if you fall into regular time fly fast and you will never notice that. Partially I agree with him. But routines make your life easy and you can focus on other things in life. We have more things to do than a snake. That is what my daughter said. We were rescuing a  baby snake of the common Krait. The snake was small but very aggressive.  After a few attempts, we were able to move the snake to a safe place. I was wondering why was that so aggressive. My daughter said, all other animals need to defend enemy, eat and sleep and they are not humans. Humans have a lot of other things to do than just survival. I was stunned to hear this thing from a 10-year-old. 

Seventy two

Will power. I read and experienced the fact is that will power is not an infinite quantity. Often we forget that the brain is an organ just like leg or hand or heart or liver. It works like any other organ. It also would vary in its capacity to carry out stuff, just like some are good runners and some are not. In 100 meter finals of Olympics, you hardly find any white skin man/women. Why? Because they can't compete with a sports person from African origin, whose muscle built is unique for fast contrasting and giving the burst. Similarly, our brain has a different capacity to carry out tough tasks. Some have more willpower as compared to others. Further, if you use willpower in the morning in resisting buying an online phone, soon after you are offered a super calorie-rich food, you can't resist that food. Why? Because you have already used up your willpower in opposing of buying the phone. I just stated a simple example, but that is how it works.