Gauri the teacher

Climbing  staircase.: What is new in that? Oh my daughter has taught me different ways of doing it. Now our house is in third floor. She will use all different strategies’ to climb up and down. Two step jump one step jump, one leg jump, holding the railing, back ward , forward, three together or one by one, one part I will carry her on my back other part she will carry me !!  or she will carry her doll, she will sit and protest or she will slide, she will peep in each step or she will teach and give all the instructions to me and the doll about the safety.

Gauri in bathroom. So what? Different ways to take bath; shower, below tap, inside bucket, Sometimes, bucket will go to the hall and she will watch Doreman sitting in warm water. oh luxury, soaps will disappear, today she rub the soap froth on her belly and made triangle rectangle and even a cow on  her belly. She would take different colour shampoos soaps and mix them. She will be fish in the bucket , I need to catch her with towel as net, only when she comes out of bucket!! She will play many times, oh intelligent fish will test my patience!

Wear the cloth- what is in it?

She has choice. Choice changes every day. If she wants to kill the time, she will change options randomly. Wearing a dress is part of her journey. I mean she will run around the house, I need to catch her and put the shirt on her neck --------- running--------then one hand------ again running -  another hand, and for each cloth process repeats. 

Sleeping-

She thinks that sleeping is waste of her valuable time. So in all possible ways she will postpone her sleep. I never knew time is so precious and should not oversleep. First she never lie down and watch TV in the afternoon, she may fall asleep! In night, she runs for 10 min, lights are off she will bring chair and put on the light, we military parents show our power, she will agree to sleep, but now she wants milk, “no milk” , give me water, that can’t be refused, can I? Now she wants to go to loo, how can I refuse; now she wants to do potty that to at 1 am in night!! Even she will push to her limits and pass out a  small roll of shit to show me that she is not lying, finally stories then songs, then play on tablet....endless... her creativity to avoid sleep. 

Potty- what is this? Oh she will do potty , triangle, rectangle,  train colours and diet she ate, what would make watery and what makes rock.  How flush works – meanwhile she keeps playing with water, I am supposed to see each of the potty sometimes they will roll down the hole (Indian toilet) but still I need to bend and see it. Smell, she is very particular about smell. Appa, today it smells bit different. All potty have names, sometimes they are father, mother,  granny or her friends or they may be good bad and ugly. 

 Anger (gussa/sittu)- She will throw anything or she will go and sit in a corner. When she do this, how do I control. I wonder about it, since when she does this, I too get angry. But doing so, I cant tell her, don't be angry. Bit tricky, keep your cool and tell her that dont get angry is one of the most difficult thing I ever did. Cant imagine? just think, one big bowl of rice with ghee and salt, was thrown across the dining hall; fine, I will get chapati, she will spit it around the house, ok, I will get milk, milk is purposefully spilled on sofa ............. how about that , now keep your cool and teach her anger is not a good behavior!!!  

Food- Let me not write about that, it is long story. She consider it as harassment. This is how she takes revenge.

She is my teacher for the course “creativity”

“It truly takes long time to become young”

“Life is all about journey not destination”

Still learning.......

Looking back, one more year passed......

This is my third year with DSLR. I had set few targets for this year; few are achieved and few are not. Last year I also wondered that, how long this hobby does lasts. ( aarmbha shooratva). I was not really sure about this would last for three years!! Since I am not an inherently artistically oriented person or I never drew any good drawings. Somehow, I am crossing this third year and going to fourth year. I must admit that unlike first and second year third year was less eventful. I wanted to learn lighting and hence the flash. I got two used flashes, but it was bit more complicated than I thought and more demand for time and space. With my daughter running around, forget about the setting up a light stand. So hopefully this year I will do that.

I noticed that, I started taking less number of photos and fewer crops. Still pre-visualization is beyond my capacity. Meanwhile I also observed that bit of ego and I am great feeling creeping in, fortunately I was observing that carefully, I was able to get over with some difficulty (here). Unlike last 2 years, I became extremely choosy about what I take. Even many times I find something beautiful nice or interesting I avoided that since it was already a cliché in internet, nothing new I could add into it. Doing new more creative rather than repletion is extremely difficult. Unlike regular shoot , thinking new making unique above that making a story and most important adding emotion to it – I felt bit too much for my current level of creative maturity.

This year I did good amount of street photography, especially portraits. The time has changed, and people don’t like their photo taken by a stranger. Many times I was asked to delete the photo. Luckily camera/lens was not broken by them!! Good street photography is an ideal mix of daring and timing. Well, I need to add light and composition to those photos. 

Missed opportunities – or did not carry camera- un-photographable ( a site my cousin suggested) – but photography taught that lesson , yes missed opportunities ( low light, wrong setting , abstractions, photography not allowed, fast moving subject , many more) but more opportunities wait in the future.

Not to crib about the last things, make new things, think above the crowd, make it possible, look for opportunity and be prepared to grab that and use it.

Life is all about journey not about destination.

Thoughts

First thought 

Caught in the thought web

 In my childhood days, one dream recurred every night. In the dream, huge stones were rolling down towards me, and I have no way to go. Suddenly all of them disappear. This dream was a fear factor for me. May be by the age of 16, that dream stopped. I got along with the life. However, that feeling remained with me. Now many times, I feel so insecure about everything. Although everything is in place, some unknown fear / threat bothered me often, especially in the evenings.

Evening- rough sea and cold wind blowing across

 I tried to give a voice to this fear in a poem and a prose. Recently I took few photos, and those photos evoked the similar fearful evening feeling. 

Thoughts are like monkeys - you need to tie it- is it possible?

Shall I think about past or left out future?

Telescope is useless in search of peace

Second thought

The Mumbai city cared for every one or it never bothered for any one. When I stepped out of a bus on a Borivili bridge, it gulped me. Millions around, but I felt alone. In one kannada song, the a orphan boy comes to city and he finds no place to stay, and on the background one song – there is a song “so many houses here, which one is mine”.

Bus of thoughts- travelers ( thoughts) come and go- I stand here alone

Young thoughts in crowd

Third thought

Here is a man who is lost and rest of the word is looking something else. Many occasions it is that feeling "you are  alone" makes you very uneasy and uncertain. It is immaterial that who is there around you, what kind of material things you posses or money you have, you feel naked or just mind no body. That time I always feel and wish I could become a bird, fly away to far off places in search of peace. I know I may not get peace but at least I am happy that I as searching something. Life is nothing but searching. The meaningful search make it bearable and meaningless search make is agony and no search make you sad. 

Alone in the crowd

Fly away

Searching future for the child

Photos

Here are the photos which represent (may be) the feel of lost. Interestingly,children or adult, we get lost in thoughts irrespective of the place. In traffic, functions, seashores and almost everywhere.   

Lonely walks

Somewhere outside

Am I a stone or living one?

I too think!!

Lost in smoke of thoughts

Wrinkles of thoughts

Lost in traffic of thoughts

Lost in traffic of thoughts-

A artificial Mustache made me think more about uncertain future?

We too get lost in thoughts!!

Selling flowers- where are fruits?

Not just face even body is lost in thoughts