Hundred and twenty-two

I was browsing through old photos and realized that I haven't edited so many of them. I always thought photos must be aesthetically pleasing. Fundamentally photography is meant for accurate documenting, later photography was considered as an art form. I started photography to document my daughter and now I consider photography more of an art. Looking at a decade old photos, I also realized that, how volatile our memory is. 

Hundred twenty-one

Working in compartments. I found myself distracted by small incidents. These incidents keep hitting me like waves and spoil an entire day. or am I fooling myself, because I don't want to work, just act like distracted? I need to introspect myself. Introspection is like plumbing work, you need to take out dirty things from the clogged pipeline. When you dive into your own brain, you see how dirty and shallow you are. Often clean water is at the top, if you get to the bottom, the dirt and sludge stirred and float to the top, now you can see that smell it and it is YOU. 

Hundred twenty

Learning your limitations is a difficult task. After understanding your limitations, overcoming them is a much tougher task. From childhood, I am poor at drawing. Now in my forties, I am planning to learn to draw. I prefer a coach or teacher but that is beyond my reach. So I have searched a few online courses. This weekend I will register. I hope learning to draw would improve my photomontage capabilities. 

Hundred nineteen

Often I think I know everything. Do I really know? or I assume that I know. Why all humans think they are the masters of the subject. This common blindness is great fun or tragedy of society. I keep testing myself if I am a given a topic to talk,  on a subject on which I think I am an expert, am I capable of talking? Unfortunately, most of the time I am not an expert. It takes time and effort to be an expert in a subject. 

Hundred eighteen

Time is the fastest entity. Two days of my life disappeared before I realized. I am lazy and ambitious. This is not the right combination. But this is a fact. How to resolve this? till date, I haven't found a way out. These two personalities fight with each other and each day one would win. Therefore, some days I am very industrious and motivated and a few other days I am a lethargic, lazy and self-pitying person. On lazy days I have no reason for hard work. On a motivated day, I want to learn everything from art to physics. Well, today I realized this and looks like today "laziness" has won its day!

Hundred seventeen

Indian team is in finals of the world cup. All are excited and tensed. Will the winning or losing change our lives? Not really. But we are emotionally connected to many events happening around us. This brings in stress and exhilaration. These emotions attached to a sports team, a favourite actor, a TV serial or a political party make our life more colourful. The attached emotion take up your time and energy, more than that it leaves you with an exhausted feeling after the event.  

Hundred sixteen

Why do we seek approval of others? Does, this behaviour has evolutionary significance? As a social animal, there is a social hierarchy. This hierarchy is formed by formal or informal approval of fellow members of our species. If this argument is right, then we keep looking around for a kind of approval from someone else. Though many books and philosophers say go with your dream, rely on your internal assessment, give none attention to other's comments and judgements, etc. Well, this doesn't work, because we are genetically wired to seek approval from others. 

Hundred fifteen

After the weekend, you are back to work. That day you feel so lethargic and frustrated. It is like you are loaded with a lead brick. One side of yours says work, work, and work. But the whole body just won't budge. This mixture of desire to and being lazy same time is a strange and dangerous mix. All I learned about this sate is that just allow the time to pass and you automatically become ok in 4 to 6 hours. There is no point in pushing yourself at that moment. 

Hundred fourteen

We are one more species on the planet. We too evolved like other animals. All the animals we see today because they could pass on their DNA to the next generation. Essentially, the species which has perfected the art of passing on the DNA to the next generation are successful. What about us? We often forget that we are animals and try to make many rules and morality. But deep inside us, one thing is happening that is, you can pass on your DNA to your progeny. Whether you pass on is immaterial, but we evolved for that. Once we understand this many actions around us become more clear. 

Hundred thirteen

Humans don’t learn from a book or by another person’s experience. But, few learn from mistakes. All new endeavour goes through the same path. Let us say photography. All start with a simple camera, move to point and shoot camera (now mobile), next DSLR, later mirror-less, then full frame that is the progressive upward movement of want. Then the tale of the lens. Kit lens, pro zoom, prime, fast prime, telezoom, tele prime, macro, wide angle never-ending story. After going through this and losing money on all these things, I suggest a newcomer to photography that; you buy this and these things are more than enough for photography. Do they listen? NO. They will go through their own journey through the landscape of camera and lenses. 

Hundred twelve

Learning English has been tough for me. Is it a hundred and twelve or a hundred twelve? I get these kinds of doubts. I tried to learn grammar and at the end that was a failure. Learning English for me seems like a lifelong effort 

Hundred eleven

Today nothing much to write. The city of Mumbai is for those who dream to become big. It has a place for everyone whoever is hungry for success. Nothing is asked; degree, country, cost or any other qualifiers. All you need to do is work hard and willing to work harder. You have a place here. Often you may not make it big here but your next generation will,.

Hundred ten

They say you need a filter between brain and mouth. Often that filter doesn't work. I often regret what I talked about. Again I do the same mistake. I should do something about this. I tried in the past but in vain.

Hundred nine

Why I am philosophizing life? Is it kind of escapism? Maybe I am lazy and finding some answers in philosophy. But in very difficult phases of my life, I found answers in philosophies and pushed me to a positive side of life. So let me give the benefit of doubt to philosophy. I enjoy finding some meaning in the total chaos of life. I know all the surrounding things are random and happened by chance. We are so sure about life and the future, even though all of us know that life is uncertain. When we see an accident or when we attend a funeral, we realize for a few minutes that uncertainty and we are back to normal secure feel. That is how we have evolved to have a hope of better things.  

Hundred eight

I started this blog in the morning. But nothing popped up in the brain. Now again I am here to write. Writing is a tough job. Long back I had read this book on writing  by Stephen King and he emphasis on the discipline of writing. I don't have a subject to write. So I need to read more, make notes and list out potential subjects on which I could write. All these needs more disciplined effort and getting out of comfort zone. Can I do this? Not sure, until now I haven't written a food diary, I suppose which to be the best way to keep track of food and lose weight. Oh, that is the topic for some other day. 

Hundred seven

Many recommend rereading a book. But I have so many unfinished books and scrambling for the time to reread. I also found that non-fiction books are difficult to read, you need to imbibe the ideas of the book. Often these ideas reverberate and make you read more on the net to understand that concept. Still, I need to practice proactively fast reading. The number of subjects interests me are vast and books available in all these areas are also extensive.  

Hundred six

Today I read a few pages of the book on stress. I have the 500-page book on stress and reached the 75th page. I learnt so much already on stress. Though I come from a biology background and masters in zoology, I was not aware of so many things. Hormones are crazy and they do too many things beyond our comprehension. What is more intriguing is the balance between amongst themselves. I need to ban YouTube to learn more! 

Hundred five

Languages are fun. I can’t learn new languages in a short time. Still, I learnt two languages during the past 20 years staying in Mumbai, Hindi and Marathi. Now I can understand the intricacies of these languages like tone, accent, flow, etc. But more to learn. Whenever I hear a good orator, I am awestruck by his/her flow of language, usage of words and the way present in a crisp and precise manner. I don’t want to learn to talk such as TED. I want to learn to talk like Abraham Lincoln. Too ambitious, isn’t it?

Hundred four

Listening to a podcast better than reading? What I observed is that when I am listening to audiobooks or podcasts, my mind wanders around and come back. However, when reading the book, if your focus shifts the reading halts. But podcasts are great to listen when you are doing mundane works like washing dishes or cleaning the bike, etc. Maybe success is all about concentrating your effort in one endeavour. I will do only one thing all my life and one day I regret that I haven’t read about or did something about. Let me not achieve anything great in one field but isn’t it fun to know many areas. Fine to die as unknown but during my time I saw and understood many things and doing so I enjoyed my life. 

Hundred three

Reading a book on stress. Weaning from the internet and reading a book is stress. Isn’t it a paradox? I observed that what I read on net evaporates much faster than a book. What I read on the internet is shallow both by the and attention. When you read a book (non-fiction) you have to think along with the author and often you don’t agree with the author and many times you appreciate the author’s opinions. This kind of thinking along with the reading make an impact and we remember for a long time. But this process has long-term benefits and lacks the short-term joy of internet nonsense reading. We are tuned to enjoy short-term benefits and is very difficult to convince the brain about long-term benefits. 

Hundred two

The new week has started. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. I posted this slogan on my hotel wall for 5 years and still, I often ignore this and do not start. Why we are so lazy. Or we evolved to conserve energy? Maybe. This is a very repeated thought keep coming to my mind and maybe I have already written about this. Looking away from a difficult situation than facing it is a common tendency. I neglect this and again I pull back and again do that. I need to do or face the task in a hand not bothered about a distant future

Hundred one

Today finally a small victory over the internet, I could read for an hour in the morning. I was reading a book  "why zebras don't get ulcers". Being from a zoology background it was an easy read. I read the first chapter. Still, I struggled with concentration and mind wandered often. I can read fiction for a long period. Today, Sunday, a lot of things to do. Just like me, my daughter also hooked to the internet. Now summer holidays, being a single kid she has nothing else to do. I need to find out some kind of summer camps or activities for her. It is near impossible to keep kids away from the internet. Some other day I will write about this struggle. 

Hundred

Some numbers are landmarks. Hundred is a landmark. I am in the 5th month of blogging and finally reached this landmark. Often I set goals and rarely put my efforts to achieve that. Somehow, this habit is sticking. This time I was not hard on myself. Whenever I missed the blog post to post or when I had nothing to write, I wrote a few lines and that helped.
I did some kind of introspection and found that I am interested in too many things. Starting from photography, video making, investment, cricket, learning maths, learning a computer language, writing a novel, learning better English and many more. Nothing is happening because I am focusing on too many things. All these things look like a mountain and I won't do anything. 

Ninety nine

Writing a blog or telling a story every day is difficult. I write with no specific idea or I sit and think for a while and start with a small idea. Sometimes the idea or experience has more substance and hence I could write better and more. Often the idea lack substance and I lack the research and hence blog post becomes small and ordinary. I tell a story to my daughter every night. I just start story set in either at sea or land or mountain and rarely in ice landscape. One leading character either boy or girl or fixed. Often one hero will fill many stories like Phantom or Mandrake stories. I often wonder about my brain and surprised by the story coming out of my mind. I never thought about that until I told the story. This also means that if you force yourself to write or tell a story, you can come up with an interesting story. 

Ninety eight

The economy of a village and a city are different. The mindsets are different. Even a rich person in a village values money more than its value and in the city, it is the opposite. Very small amount like Rs 5 ( 7 cents) is treated with a lot of respect in the village, they bargain for that for at least 10 mins! Village people have a lot of time and less money. However, Indian villages are changing fast and urbanization feel has come to the village. This is due to the internet via mobile. When we were in the village we desired for some colourful cloth or occasional hotel food and rarely cinema. The internet has piled up new desires; phones, TVs, microwaves, vehicles and many more. The simple self-sustainable economic environment is disappearing fast. All want to buy new things and build modern houses. This needs money. Now the village people are finding new ways to make money. The land is exploited, water is exhausted and farmers are moving up on the economic ladder. Is it wrong? I don't think so. Often people in the city comment on how all these things are happening in the rural side, something should be done about this. But city people are not ready to sacrifice the comforts of urban life. At the beginning of the industrial revolution, our species decided to enjoy the short term happiness ( like any other animal- no animal would consciously eat a plant or kill a prey thinking of saving the planet) and we set the destruction of the planet in motion. Near impossible to save now. Am I pessimistic? maybe. 

Ninety seven

Have you observed that always your Q moves slow? We all observed this. I found that my department is slow, my state is underperforming, my daughter is not scoring well, my country is not very rich,my.. this continues. Either I am very unlucky ending up always on the losing side or I am trying to highlight failures and shortcoming and overlooking much of things which worked, like ending up in a faster Q or my country winning the Cricket world cup etc. I need a more balanced outlook.