Hundred twenty eight

The PC was down. Therefore, I skipped a few days. I could have written on my laptop, but you know, I can give an excuse. I know all the ingredients of success and unable to put into practice. From past few days, I am practising not being hard on myself. Just wondering is it right or wrong.

Hundred twenty-seven

Still, four minutes left before 12 and the next day. Reasonably well spent first half and wasted the second half. It is ok, let me make some plans for tomorrow which will start within 3 minutes. 

Hundred twenty six

Hundred twenty-five

If I go fast, I will reach fast. More risk more reward. The ultimate gamble in life is when to take a risk and not. Someone would tell take a calculated risk. There is nothing called a calculated risk. The person who knows that calculation would win the race with the help of luck. Shall I take "the risk"

Hundred twenty four

Hypocrisy no one wants to talk about. When I am driving, I found all jaywalkers so annoying. Now I am walking and I get annoyed with all the drivers and I expect them to drive dead slow. I keep observing myself and I find it so fascinating how our brain works. It tries to maximize the benefit for the body which carries it around. We call this hypocrisy. Maybe!

Hundred twenty-three

Today I went cycling after 2 months break. The reason for a break is a small accident and laziness. Habits just melt away. You should be at it. Felt good after one-hour cycling. I went for a leisurely ride rather than finishing 15 km in 30 mins. One thing I realized, if you set up impossible goals/rules more often you break them. We should set up moderate goals so that less inhibition will be there to do that. 

Hundred and twenty-two

I was browsing through old photos and realized that I haven't edited so many of them. I always thought photos must be aesthetically pleasing. Fundamentally photography is meant for accurate documenting, later photography was considered as an art form. I started photography to document my daughter and now I consider photography more of an art. Looking at a decade old photos, I also realized that, how volatile our memory is. 

Hundred twenty-one

Working in compartments. I found myself distracted by small incidents. These incidents keep hitting me like waves and spoil an entire day. or am I fooling myself, because I don't want to work, just act like distracted? I need to introspect myself. Introspection is like plumbing work, you need to take out dirty things from the clogged pipeline. When you dive into your own brain, you see how dirty and shallow you are. Often clean water is at the top, if you get to the bottom, the dirt and sludge stirred and float to the top, now you can see that smell it and it is YOU. 

Hundred twenty

Learning your limitations is a difficult task. After understanding your limitations, overcoming them is a much tougher task. From childhood, I am poor at drawing. Now in my forties, I am planning to learn to draw. I prefer a coach or teacher but that is beyond my reach. So I have searched a few online courses. This weekend I will register. I hope learning to draw would improve my photomontage capabilities. 

Hundred nineteen

Often I think I know everything. Do I really know? or I assume that I know. Why all humans think they are the masters of the subject. This common blindness is great fun or tragedy of society. I keep testing myself if I am a given a topic to talk,  on a subject on which I think I am an expert, am I capable of talking? Unfortunately, most of the time I am not an expert. It takes time and effort to be an expert in a subject. 

Hundred eighteen

Time is the fastest entity. Two days of my life disappeared before I realized. I am lazy and ambitious. This is not the right combination. But this is a fact. How to resolve this? till date, I haven't found a way out. These two personalities fight with each other and each day one would win. Therefore, some days I am very industrious and motivated and a few other days I am a lethargic, lazy and self-pitying person. On lazy days I have no reason for hard work. On a motivated day, I want to learn everything from art to physics. Well, today I realized this and looks like today "laziness" has won its day!

Hundred seventeen

Indian team is in finals of the world cup. All are excited and tensed. Will the winning or losing change our lives? Not really. But we are emotionally connected to many events happening around us. This brings in stress and exhilaration. These emotions attached to a sports team, a favourite actor, a TV serial or a political party make our life more colourful. The attached emotion take up your time and energy, more than that it leaves you with an exhausted feeling after the event.  

Hundred sixteen

Why do we seek approval of others? Does, this behaviour has evolutionary significance? As a social animal, there is a social hierarchy. This hierarchy is formed by formal or informal approval of fellow members of our species. If this argument is right, then we keep looking around for a kind of approval from someone else. Though many books and philosophers say go with your dream, rely on your internal assessment, give none attention to other's comments and judgements, etc. Well, this doesn't work, because we are genetically wired to seek approval from others. 

Hundred fifteen

After the weekend, you are back to work. That day you feel so lethargic and frustrated. It is like you are loaded with a lead brick. One side of yours says work, work, and work. But the whole body just won't budge. This mixture of desire to and being lazy same time is a strange and dangerous mix. All I learned about this sate is that just allow the time to pass and you automatically become ok in 4 to 6 hours. There is no point in pushing yourself at that moment. 

Hundred fourteen

We are one more species on the planet. We too evolved like other animals. All the animals we see today because they could pass on their DNA to the next generation. Essentially, the species which has perfected the art of passing on the DNA to the next generation are successful. What about us? We often forget that we are animals and try to make many rules and morality. But deep inside us, one thing is happening that is, you can pass on your DNA to your progeny. Whether you pass on is immaterial, but we evolved for that. Once we understand this many actions around us become more clear. 

Hundred thirteen

Humans don’t learn from a book or by another person’s experience. But, few learn from mistakes. All new endeavour goes through the same path. Let us say photography. All start with a simple camera, move to point and shoot camera (now mobile), next DSLR, later mirror-less, then full frame that is the progressive upward movement of want. Then the tale of the lens. Kit lens, pro zoom, prime, fast prime, telezoom, tele prime, macro, wide angle never-ending story. After going through this and losing money on all these things, I suggest a newcomer to photography that; you buy this and these things are more than enough for photography. Do they listen? NO. They will go through their own journey through the landscape of camera and lenses. 

Hundred twelve

Learning English has been tough for me. Is it a hundred and twelve or a hundred twelve? I get these kinds of doubts. I tried to learn grammar and at the end that was a failure. Learning English for me seems like a lifelong effort 

Hundred eleven

Today nothing much to write. The city of Mumbai is for those who dream to become big. It has a place for everyone whoever is hungry for success. Nothing is asked; degree, country, cost or any other qualifiers. All you need to do is work hard and willing to work harder. You have a place here. Often you may not make it big here but your next generation will,.

Hundred ten

They say you need a filter between brain and mouth. Often that filter doesn't work. I often regret what I talked about. Again I do the same mistake. I should do something about this. I tried in the past but in vain.

Hundred nine

Why I am philosophizing life? Is it kind of escapism? Maybe I am lazy and finding some answers in philosophy. But in very difficult phases of my life, I found answers in philosophies and pushed me to a positive side of life. So let me give the benefit of doubt to philosophy. I enjoy finding some meaning in the total chaos of life. I know all the surrounding things are random and happened by chance. We are so sure about life and the future, even though all of us know that life is uncertain. When we see an accident or when we attend a funeral, we realize for a few minutes that uncertainty and we are back to normal secure feel. That is how we have evolved to have a hope of better things.  

Hundred eight

I started this blog in the morning. But nothing popped up in the brain. Now again I am here to write. Writing is a tough job. Long back I had read this book on writing  by Stephen King and he emphasis on the discipline of writing. I don't have a subject to write. So I need to read more, make notes and list out potential subjects on which I could write. All these needs more disciplined effort and getting out of comfort zone. Can I do this? Not sure, until now I haven't written a food diary, I suppose which to be the best way to keep track of food and lose weight. Oh, that is the topic for some other day. 

Hundred seven

Many recommend rereading a book. But I have so many unfinished books and scrambling for the time to reread. I also found that non-fiction books are difficult to read, you need to imbibe the ideas of the book. Often these ideas reverberate and make you read more on the net to understand that concept. Still, I need to practice proactively fast reading. The number of subjects interests me are vast and books available in all these areas are also extensive.  

Hundred six

Today I read a few pages of the book on stress. I have the 500-page book on stress and reached the 75th page. I learnt so much already on stress. Though I come from a biology background and masters in zoology, I was not aware of so many things. Hormones are crazy and they do too many things beyond our comprehension. What is more intriguing is the balance between amongst themselves. I need to ban YouTube to learn more! 

Hundred five

Languages are fun. I can’t learn new languages in a short time. Still, I learnt two languages during the past 20 years staying in Mumbai, Hindi and Marathi. Now I can understand the intricacies of these languages like tone, accent, flow, etc. But more to learn. Whenever I hear a good orator, I am awestruck by his/her flow of language, usage of words and the way present in a crisp and precise manner. I don’t want to learn to talk such as TED. I want to learn to talk like Abraham Lincoln. Too ambitious, isn’t it?

Hundred four

Listening to a podcast better than reading? What I observed is that when I am listening to audiobooks or podcasts, my mind wanders around and come back. However, when reading the book, if your focus shifts the reading halts. But podcasts are great to listen when you are doing mundane works like washing dishes or cleaning the bike, etc. Maybe success is all about concentrating your effort in one endeavour. I will do only one thing all my life and one day I regret that I haven’t read about or did something about. Let me not achieve anything great in one field but isn’t it fun to know many areas. Fine to die as unknown but during my time I saw and understood many things and doing so I enjoyed my life. 

Hundred three

Reading a book on stress. Weaning from the internet and reading a book is stress. Isn’t it a paradox? I observed that what I read on net evaporates much faster than a book. What I read on the internet is shallow both by the and attention. When you read a book (non-fiction) you have to think along with the author and often you don’t agree with the author and many times you appreciate the author’s opinions. This kind of thinking along with the reading make an impact and we remember for a long time. But this process has long-term benefits and lacks the short-term joy of internet nonsense reading. We are tuned to enjoy short-term benefits and is very difficult to convince the brain about long-term benefits. 

Hundred two

The new week has started. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. I posted this slogan on my hotel wall for 5 years and still, I often ignore this and do not start. Why we are so lazy. Or we evolved to conserve energy? Maybe. This is a very repeated thought keep coming to my mind and maybe I have already written about this. Looking away from a difficult situation than facing it is a common tendency. I neglect this and again I pull back and again do that. I need to do or face the task in a hand not bothered about a distant future

Hundred one

Today finally a small victory over the internet, I could read for an hour in the morning. I was reading a book  "why zebras don't get ulcers". Being from a zoology background it was an easy read. I read the first chapter. Still, I struggled with concentration and mind wandered often. I can read fiction for a long period. Today, Sunday, a lot of things to do. Just like me, my daughter also hooked to the internet. Now summer holidays, being a single kid she has nothing else to do. I need to find out some kind of summer camps or activities for her. It is near impossible to keep kids away from the internet. Some other day I will write about this struggle. 

Hundred

Some numbers are landmarks. Hundred is a landmark. I am in the 5th month of blogging and finally reached this landmark. Often I set goals and rarely put my efforts to achieve that. Somehow, this habit is sticking. This time I was not hard on myself. Whenever I missed the blog post to post or when I had nothing to write, I wrote a few lines and that helped.
I did some kind of introspection and found that I am interested in too many things. Starting from photography, video making, investment, cricket, learning maths, learning a computer language, writing a novel, learning better English and many more. Nothing is happening because I am focusing on too many things. All these things look like a mountain and I won't do anything. 

Ninety nine

Writing a blog or telling a story every day is difficult. I write with no specific idea or I sit and think for a while and start with a small idea. Sometimes the idea or experience has more substance and hence I could write better and more. Often the idea lack substance and I lack the research and hence blog post becomes small and ordinary. I tell a story to my daughter every night. I just start story set in either at sea or land or mountain and rarely in ice landscape. One leading character either boy or girl or fixed. Often one hero will fill many stories like Phantom or Mandrake stories. I often wonder about my brain and surprised by the story coming out of my mind. I never thought about that until I told the story. This also means that if you force yourself to write or tell a story, you can come up with an interesting story. 

Ninety eight

The economy of a village and a city are different. The mindsets are different. Even a rich person in a village values money more than its value and in the city, it is the opposite. Very small amount like Rs 5 ( 7 cents) is treated with a lot of respect in the village, they bargain for that for at least 10 mins! Village people have a lot of time and less money. However, Indian villages are changing fast and urbanization feel has come to the village. This is due to the internet via mobile. When we were in the village we desired for some colourful cloth or occasional hotel food and rarely cinema. The internet has piled up new desires; phones, TVs, microwaves, vehicles and many more. The simple self-sustainable economic environment is disappearing fast. All want to buy new things and build modern houses. This needs money. Now the village people are finding new ways to make money. The land is exploited, water is exhausted and farmers are moving up on the economic ladder. Is it wrong? I don't think so. Often people in the city comment on how all these things are happening in the rural side, something should be done about this. But city people are not ready to sacrifice the comforts of urban life. At the beginning of the industrial revolution, our species decided to enjoy the short term happiness ( like any other animal- no animal would consciously eat a plant or kill a prey thinking of saving the planet) and we set the destruction of the planet in motion. Near impossible to save now. Am I pessimistic? maybe. 

Ninety seven

Have you observed that always your Q moves slow? We all observed this. I found that my department is slow, my state is underperforming, my daughter is not scoring well, my country is not very rich,my.. this continues. Either I am very unlucky ending up always on the losing side or I am trying to highlight failures and shortcoming and overlooking much of things which worked, like ending up in a faster Q or my country winning the Cricket world cup etc. I need a more balanced outlook. 

Ninety Six

I went to my native place. When you go back to your village after a year, you will observe many new things. The most striking observation about our generation who moved from village to city is no social connection in either of the places. You come to a city with your own culture and customs and find it difficult to assimilate and make social connections. But my daughter who is born in the city is in perfect sync with social fabric here. Twenty-six years ago I have left my village. I know people from my generation, but not the new one. A sea of change has taken place in the village during this period and I found it difficult to connect. So neither I belong in the city nor in the village.  

Ninety five

Thoughts repeat. Therefore, what I write here may repeat. It is like music on loop. Raw materials for a thought process are a lifetime experience, book knowledge, knowledge derived from peers and many more. Now the brain mixes all these and makes some opinions or thoughts. Unless I go to a new place or I do a new job or I read a new book or I meet new people or develop a new outlook for the same old subject I won't be making new thoughts. When I observed all the great authors, they have all these ingredients and they keep accumulating new raw materials by keen observation of the world around them. If I have to improve my writing or if I have to put out new thoughts here I need to improve my observational powers!

Ninety four

Now it is 12.20 pm. So I happily wasted half a day of the holiday. In the morning I was thinking great things to do, even tried to learn "The Maths". But by 10 o clock, I had become what I am! When you waste time, one strange thing happens, you feel like munching something unhealthy. I don't know why that happens. So I had planned a big heavy blog post such as what to do with life etc,, now I am letting it go, no more feel like writing heavy stuff. For the moment let me not fight with "the philosopher" side of brian I will be happy today being "the lazy". 

Ninety three

It is so difficult to write. The professional writers have to write every day. Film scriptwriters have an even tougher job. I am hardly writing a few sentences every day and I found it difficult. I can pickup subject from a book and write on that. But bringing own subject out from deep pockets of the brain is a challenge and fun. Often things are hidden deep inside the brain pop out on unusual occasions. As I am getting old, I am confused with true memory and false memory. I found that many times I am so sure about the information which is incorrect. 

Ninety two

We were left with the extra time after hunting, gathering, eating, fighting and having sex. What to do with this time? First, we scribbled things on cave walls, later we carved stones, built better things and lazy ones started to make things in the brain and less lazy people wrote down. Finally, we were able to understand a bit of nature. Now all this information is sitting in front of you in the form of the INTERNET. The information available now is overwhelming. You are amazed or frustrated, what to learn? I am not sure, what all things I would love to learn; starting from mathematics to evolution.   

Ninety one

I know poverty is out there. I know how important money is? still, I tend to forget in the comfort of my life. Yesterday I went for a photoshoot at Dadar Market in Mumbai. Life is tough there. Competition is fierce. The selection pressure is ruthless. Evolution is in progress, survival of the fittest. I even saw a person, who recently lost his hand, maybe in a train accident. He was smoking and talking animatedly with his friend. Life goes on. No time to cry or self-pity, you need to fill your stomach. Philosophy is for me, not for them. One day in a similar market a roadside keysmith told me, if you desire the wealth around, even a million will be less for you! and he refused to take extra money from me. I will make a photoblog later.

Ninety

Every one love simple life. But no one wants to live one. I found that simple living is tough. As I said earlier, thinking and doing are in two different domain of life. The connector that connects these two domains is lazy. I wanted to do a project like one lens one camera. I keep searching in the net what should be that camera and lens. I am not buying too many things and hence let me buy the costliest one. How about that? Fundamentally I don't prefer simple living but I love talking about it and I appreciate and say wow when others do. The weekend has started and I have a list of things to do. Today I have maintained the weekday routine till now and hoping that I don't find a new series on Netflix and do not watch cricket in the evening.

Eighty nine

Guilty and regret are the same or different? Select, right-click and search in Google. The first hit takes me to Karen's Blogs. I did not read that blog. I will read it later. Doing something wrong and hiding it leads to guilty. More than that, you are not punished for the wrongdoing, and your consciousness keeps telling you about that. I waste time I regret that. I spend money. I regret that. Regret is a personal feeling of missing out something. You only can regret. But "guilty" you can feel it, or someone also can tell you that you are guilty of wrongdoing. I need to think more about this, while if you want to read more, you can go to the blog as mentioned earlier.

Eighty eight

Today morning I was listing to Ray Dalio. One thing that hit me very hard. He said he was more feared about boredom and mediocrity than failure. It struck me like a lightning bolt. It is right for me too. I need to do much more adventurous. 

Eighty Seven

As I was walking across the market, I saw a couple from a distance, and they were engaged in animated talk. All of us see anything unusual or usual we form an opinion. I thought about this couple why these people are fighting in public. As I approached them, I heard them and couple were talking in Kannada, that is my mother tongue. All of a sudden my opinion changed about them! Why so? In spite of knowing this bias, very often, I am a victim of that. Familiarity bias a strange thing. If a person belongs to your state or speak your language or belongs to your religion, without much thinking, we assume they are right. I suppose, when we have limited data points, the brain tries to find out some data, even it is absurd and irrelevant to make some decision. We can't remain uncertain, human brain always wants definitive answers.  

Eighty six

What is the purpose of my life? My purpose in life has been reset many times during the last 40 years. For the time being, I don't have any meaning. I am living in an auto mode. Do I need to think about purpose? I am living to live nothing more than that. I am not afraid of death. I am scared of " not leaving behind my footprint". I know that this word has marched ahead without keeping the account of the greatest accomplishments of the human race in the past. Still, I am carving for "being unique". Maybe this is my purpose of living. But the question is in what field do I excel and which skill would set me apart? This blog series is one such exercise to find the answer for this irritating question. 

Eighty five

The habits are difficult to keep. They are like a chain if one link is missed rest will miss. If I have to keep a habit going, I need to keep them every day including weekends. Once you miss a habit, next will be missed and by the time you are frustrated and lost patience and end up in binge surfing on the net. The Internet is basically promoting aimless wandering across so that you will see all the advertisements of all the companies across many websites. Oh yes, I am blaming the internet and time being I don't have enough will power for a thorough introspection. 

Eighty four

Yesterday I met with a minor accident. My left leg was sprained. By evening pain intensified and had to go to a doctor. When you get injured or sick you will notice that body part carefully and all of a sudden you realise the function of that body part in the day to day life! My left leg was sprained, just below the knee, top of the calf muscle. What is the function of this muscle? Not a scientific study but just an observation. You need this muscle for bending the leg and walking. Surprisingly not very significant for cycling. This muscle is crucial to balance on one leg in a slight slant position. I realised this when I am mounting on cycle/bike. You can't do sit-ups. Once the pain disappears, I don't pay attention to this. What does this mean? Our brain though knows theoretically that all parts of the body are essential for smooth functioning, the brain doesn't keep an account of that. This accounting will be too much work for the brain. So only when we get injured, the brain pays particular attention to that part. In life also we take many things granted. For example 24x7 internet availability, or ATM machine or fuel etc. Only we realise them when they are not available. The funniest part is, once service resumes we again get back to normal life. The brain only remembers very bitter, sad and traumatic incidents and not small mundane pain and loss. It is not like computer hard-disc, the brain makes its own choice of what to remember and what not and even we don't have any control over that.

Eighty three

ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಒಂದು ಕಷ್ಟದ ಕೆಲಸ. ಕನ್ನಡ ಬರೆಯದೆ ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಾದವು. ಓದಲು ಸುಲಭ ಆದರೆ ಬರೆಯಲು ಕಠಿಣ. 

I tried to write a few things in Kannada. Google has improved transliteration to a great extent. This gives me encouragement to write more in Kannada. In spite of reading and writing English from the past 30 years, I should say I have little or no grip on English. The effortlessness and fluency in Kannada is a different level. I have done all kind of courses, read many books and wrote many things in English. Still, I don't think I have command on this language. All I achieved is that now I can read English and appreciate a good writer. I can make out good and bad writing but I can't say why good is good and bad is bad. 

Eighty two

Some tasks look very simple and we think that that is so easy to do. However, the simple things are most difficult to do. I was supposed to sit quietly for 5 mins per day. It is more difficult than running 5 km. If you don't believe me, try it out for a week. I think and plan so many things and all of them look so easy and I feel I will do them with ease. But when that moment arrives I am lost. For example, I had planned to leave office one hour earlier, still, I am here sitting in front of PC and reading some stuff. 

Eighty one

What I am supposed to teach my daughter? I am sure about the irrelevance of the school. Today morning I was watching this Google talk Yuval Noah Harari: "21 Lessons for the 21st Century" | Talks at Google. Prof. Harari emphasis on emotional intelligence and capabilities to reinvent many times in life. This is an intriguing suggestion. But I have to study and understand these concepts so that I can teach this to my daughter.

Eighty

Enjoying a process is like meditation. When I am doing macro photography, I am deeply immersed in that. Angles, light and shallow depth of field takes me to another world. At the same time often I don't get a satisfactory end product (photo). Even more often the audience won't appreciate your work, and you feel frustrated. I know that I should not go by the judgement of others. But that is only theory, we have evolved to seek appreciation from fellow human beings. When my daughter wants to flaunt her new dress or pencil box, I feel irritated and would tell her, be simple, and that is not good to show off. But the Sotic sitting deep inside me would say, don't you expect that other people appreciate your photography. Don't you flaunt your F1.2 lens? Yes, I do. Let me keep my mouth shut. 

Seventy nine

I am pursuing photography from a decade. From the last two years, I had lost interest in photography. I was doing that but not with the enthusiasm of the beginning. Reading blogs, books and Youtube, I learnt that professionals don't care for mood, creativity or getting bored of doing a thing, they keep doing what they are doing. I too used similar mantra here. Whether I liked it or not I keep shooting and editing photos. Often it was boring and frustrating. Again I am back to photography and trying to even videography. It is obvious that I am spending more time on review sites and checking out prices. Though it doesn't help in improving photography, reading about gear and technology is fun. 

Seventy eight

Today is my daughter's result day! She is not worried. Worry is a big word at the age of 10. She is more concerned about her Youtube access than results. Here we are in the next generation. I am really not sure about the need for handwriting, and all those things taught in the school are relevant in 2030. The technology and the world is changing too fast. I really don't know what to teach her. But logic and common sense are needed forever. But there are hardly any tools and course to explain these two skill sets. I am also trying to teach her resilience, it is so difficult to teach. As a parent, I don't want to put her in difficult situations. However, without rough patches, you hardly learn lessons which no school nor university would teach. I am finding a way to stimulate conditions which seems harsh to her.  

Seventy seven

I keep reading many personality developments, productivity and positive thinking kind of books. It is a kind of addiction. Very often I failed to put them in practice. I was introduced to these kinds of books by my grandfather. I don't think he read these books. Because our home library doesn't contain this kind of books. He was worried about me and must have bought them exclusively for me. Now after more than 40 years, one strange realisation happened to me. Most of the things written in these books were practised by my grandfather in his day to day life. How did he know all these things? No idea, but a tough childhood, stressful life, in the beginning, must have taught him these pearls of wisdom. He accomplished great stuff in his life, and I think he wanted some of his kids or grand-kids would follow his footsteps. Unfortunately, none of us rose to his height. I would say we all got too much of comfort in life. 

Seventy six

From the past few months, my skin allergy has gone up. It is irresistible and you end up scratching and more you scratch more itching will popup. I found the same thing with shopping. One lens review would lead you to the shopping site and you are looking all around. This leads to taking a look at a new camera or a tripod or a flash. The chain is endless. Forcibly you move out away from the internet, it will subsidise and senses come back. It is true with itching also. If itching temptation is too high, you distract is by watching something or reading something or go for a jog, it will subside and eventually disappear. 

Seventy five

My flirting with stock market dates back to 2009. Somehow I failed to sustain the interest and momentum in investing. After one year of active investing, reading tons of books, I slipped back to passive investment through mutual funds. Whenever I hate to go to work, I wished I had financial retirement and do something else, I am stuck in the same job. When this topic pops up in the brain again, I get motivated to go to the stock market to make some money. I know after a decade in the market that becoming a real millionaire is a slow process. This year again I have started with the stock market, but not with great enthusiasm. Let me see how does it go. I also know that most of the wealthiest people on this planet got there by being in the right place at the right time and doing the right thing! Hoping luck favours ready mind, I am taking this jump. 

Seventy four

Discerning noise from signal in life brings mental peace. But often I found myself enjoying the noise. Because enjoying noise allow you to procrastinate. Why do I procrastinate? I found that I avoid certain uncomfortable situations. When I force myself into doing the things I don't want to do, I will finish the work and feel great about that. 

Seventy three

I missed two days of blogging. "Routine is the enemy of time" was the comment of a cyclist, who quit his job to cycling. According to him, if you fall into regular time fly fast and you will never notice that. Partially I agree with him. But routines make your life easy and you can focus on other things in life. We have more things to do than a snake. That is what my daughter said. We were rescuing a  baby snake of the common Krait. The snake was small but very aggressive.  After a few attempts, we were able to move the snake to a safe place. I was wondering why was that so aggressive. My daughter said, all other animals need to defend enemy, eat and sleep and they are not humans. Humans have a lot of other things to do than just survival. I was stunned to hear this thing from a 10-year-old. 

Seventy two

Will power. I read and experienced the fact is that will power is not an infinite quantity. Often we forget that the brain is an organ just like leg or hand or heart or liver. It works like any other organ. It also would vary in its capacity to carry out stuff, just like some are good runners and some are not. In 100 meter finals of Olympics, you hardly find any white skin man/women. Why? Because they can't compete with a sports person from African origin, whose muscle built is unique for fast contrasting and giving the burst. Similarly, our brain has a different capacity to carry out tough tasks. Some have more willpower as compared to others. Further, if you use willpower in the morning in resisting buying an online phone, soon after you are offered a super calorie-rich food, you can't resist that food. Why? Because you have already used up your willpower in opposing of buying the phone. I just stated a simple example, but that is how it works. 

Seventy one

Today was Holi, colour's festival. My daughter was too excited about it. She got up so early and was asking me, can we fast forward the time. What a question! A kid has all possibilities. When I was a kid, I was so sure that, one day I will see God, and wanted to ask for 3 boons. I was confused about what to ask, so I thought long and wrote down three boons and kept below the pillow. These infinite possibilities slowly disappear as they grow up. Older you get, more pessimistic you become. I need to find a way to be more optimistic and think like a kid. 

Seventy

As an amateur, I spend a lot of time on photography forums and review sites. From the past 10 years, I have learnt many tricks and intricacies of photography. In most photography forums, we talk more about the sharp photo and less about art. Whenever, I come across pro photographers in marriage, sports or any other function, I am astonished to know that they don't understand many technicalities and relevance of camera, light and composition. I also found that they don't read any reviews before buying the camera (all this applies to India not sure about the rest of the world). But at the end of the photo session, they have more keepers than us. What do they do? In their world, photography is learnt via peer learning. They have a bunch of settings for each situation and function. Aperture, white balance, flash, lens focal length and ISO setting all are well defined. For situation A, setting X is used, for situation B, setting Y is used- simple and straight forward formula.  Camera buying depends on market demand since customers are aware of full frame, APS-C etc.; before hiring, customers would ask what camera and lens will you use for my function? Therefore, even though a low-end camera would suffice the purpose, the pro will buy the high-end camera to satisfy the customer demand. Apart from that pro photographer will decide his camera based on opinions from their professional friends, service centres and camera shops. I really don't think they read a lot of reviews. A pro knows that Canon 5DMark IV or Nikon 850 or Sony A7R are fail-proof, fancy looking and proven market models. One more reason they buy only these cameras because it is easy to find used lenses, spare parts and the most important thing - there is always a fellow pro photographer is there to teach menus, settings of these cameras. 

Sixty nine

Time is like carrying water in a sieve. Before I realized I had missed two days of blogging. Often I realized that it is extremely difficult to understand human behaviour. Nowadays I found that understanding my own behaviour and mood is also difficult. So large part of our own brain is beyond our grasp. Therefore, I need to think twice before reaching a conclusion. The conclusion on any given topic is not final it is flexible. 

Sixty eight

When I am cycling or walking, I will get some ideas and plan to write on them. But I forget it later. So next time whenever I get an idea I should write and keep it. The weekend is getting over fast many things to finish. Tomorrow morning I should go for photography for sure. I also plan to go for a long cycle ride. I purposefully won't do it, or Youtube is stealing it? I have no clue. Getting inspired by reading great stuff is so easy but putting that to action is so difficult. I have to find ways to get rid of short term gratifications. Oh today, I am also supposed to learn some amount of Video editing. I have to finish that, I have set a target to myself- if I complete making the video, I will buy that software. 

Sixty seven

The exam is history and marks are the mystery - live in the present! This is what told by my daughter when I asked her about the exam. Humans are evolving fast. Generation gaps are reducing, even a couple of years can have a generation gap. I am trying my best to keep her with. But born in the 70s and adjusting to the present day is tough. I think our generation is the one who went through a maximum transition of the digital era. Started with cassette player to CD player, MP3 player to online listening. This transition happened from photos, bank, shopping and many more. If you really want to experience this transition, just put off wifi and mobile data for a week!

Sixty six

I am unable to write anything. This means I haven't spent time on introspection or thinking. We don't sit idle in the smartphone era. All companies want us to spend time on their website. When you are forced to think; you tend to think. Is it called meditation? Maybe. Every day my daughter asks for a story; from the past 6 years, I am telling a story every day. She forces me to think about a new story every day. Often I was frustrated with this. Because, every day I can't create an original story and as she grew, she demanded more complicated and compelling stories. But eventually, she forced me to think. For being creative, we have to spend time without doing anything.

Sixty five

Each task looks humungous in the beginning. I wonder what shall I do, how do I complete this. I will procrastinate that. But eventually, I have to do that and finish it. This feeling is exactly like the first plunge into the swimming pool during a cold day. Once you are in the water, you are fine. Mostly it is the brain that doesn't want to change the comfort of the moment. It is true with cycling also. I have to change the dress, wear the helmet and gloves, the brain resist till it can. So the secret of getting ahead is getting started.  

Sixty four

Thoughts keep repeating. We love ourselves more than anything else in life. Therefore sacrifices and selfless act are highlighted and get attention. Often I don't like my personality. Sometimes I feel that I am wearing a mask. The question bothers me is " Am I really good person?" or " acting like a good person". When you act like someone for a very long time, you become that person, isn't it? 

Sixty three

Yesterday was the first serious step towards learning Video making. The learning curve is steep. Just like photography. If someone thinks, he knows photography and could easily shift to making the video, it is not true. Things to learn are,

1. Gear- camera and lens
2. Voice- mike and voice recording devices 
3. Tripod or gimbal for stable footage
4. ND filters for bright light
5. Lighting 
6. Video formats, raw, bit rate etc
7. Software editing
8. Story and script 

I hope my list is comprehensive and long.  

Sixty two

All life is a race. Shall I pause and enjoy or work hard and do something great? Why we want our names to be remembered forever? What drives a  few people beyond their limit. Aren't, they fool, not enjoying a the day to day life? Afterlife is over, you don't exist and whatever you achieve or don't achieve immaterial — plenty of confusion and controversy. Here I am, caught between a lazy philosophy and becoming a great philosophy. 

Sixty one

Today I am late to log. Passing the time with Youtube and review sites. Testing waters for learning cinematography. Starting with a gimbal. I am searching, do I need one? Since I have a camera with sensor stabilisation. I also downloaded the trial version of Corel video studio. Still, this is not an uncomfortable zone. I have to find really some awkward things to do. Cold water bath for a month, or a month without sugar, or complete fasting for 24 h or bare minimum budget month.  

Sixty

Facing the wrong things in life is difficult. Yesterday I was reading a blog urging me to be prepared. It is a valid point. But our brain is a different beast. It always understands good and bad. However, we often fail to follow what is right in the long term. Because long term rewards will not give pleasure or happiness as short term laziness would provide. Though we are the only mammals who can visualise the at to come future, still most of our brain is primate one, looking for short term gain or even avoid to think in the long term.

I need to make a list of things which I need to do put me out of my comfort zone. That would familiarise me to face the unwanted stuff.

Fifty nine

My brain is an unusual one. I get perturbed by small incidents. The mind would replay the whole episode. I think all the alternatives for the given event. I wish I had spoken that way, or I had taken that action or I shouldn't have said those words. But the incident is passed, and I can't do anything about that. These replays continue until the brain gets tired or it has one more incident to worry about. Sometimes I am frustrated and often fascinated by this. Even though there are many more significant things to worry about, I find more interest in worrying about mundane things. It is like itching. Once you start itching, that will lead more itching.

Fifty eight

My daughter wanted to sleep alone. She kept alarm to get up early. I had no idea about her plans. Early morning, I observed someone moving around, I thought my wife got up, and she was to go on an office tour. But I found her sleeping. Oh, my daughter, up by 5 AM and she is getting ready for school. She took a cold shower and prepared by 5.30 Am. She gave me a hug and woke me up, oh what a surprise. The story is not over yet. She was reluctant to sleep again because school opens only at 7.30 Am. I asked her to rest for a while. At 7.10 Am, I called her, get up time to go to school. She looked at the clock, horror struck as if the whole world crashed on her; crying rolling on the ground, I am not able to reason it out. She said, all her effort was to be the first student to be there at school by 7 AM.

Now my wife is angry. She is upset that you should not allow all these things, getting up so early etc. I had to convince her that, this is the fun of childhood, freedom is an essential part of growing up, but she is not convinced.

Oh, this morning I was trying to calm two women! Crazy........

Fifty seven

Getting off the bus is comfortable and getting on often tricky. Now the third month of the new year, I am struggling to stick to the plan I had at the beginning of the year.

Losing the ground is common but gaining back the tricky part. So I need to keep my goals pinned on the desktop and stick to that. I also started to keep a record of losing the way in between, That would help me to gauge my true self-discipline vs assumed self-discipline.

So easy to set goals and difficult to achieve them. I need to build a system to make them. 

Fifty six

I upgraded the Computer. PC. This time it was a desperate attempt to make the computer future proof. I ended up spending money beyond my budget.

PC is home. I have an original Windows 10 home license. Because many people in India don't know the fact OS is bought, they think that it is part of the computer. Windows updating is a pain. Many bluescreens and incompatibilities, after more than 20 hours of effort computer is working smoothly. Wait, why Google Chrome is not working? Yes, Microsoft edge working but not chrome. After spending more than 3 hours on the internet, found a temporary solution. Not happy but it is working.

This is the reason why people don't want to change. The learning curve is steep, the adaptation process is painful, and the insecurity feeling is always there. We will learn only when we are in an uncomfortable zone, we learn when the system doesn't work as expected. But inherent lethargy would inhibit us. Deliberately we have to get out of our comfort zone. I should get into an uncomfortable area, step by step if not a dramatic shift. 

Fifty five

Why am  I right always? I feel I am right, I know for sure the rest of the world is stupid. How can they be so stupid, can't they understand the simplest things? It is not just my thought, most of us think so. Strange isn't it? Maybe our brain evolved to think it is the best? why so? Need to find out.

Fifty four

My PC is down. I am typing on a Mac. Small laptop, easy to carry and use. I tried my best to shift to the Apple ecosystem. I was introduced to the computer in late 2000. That was the first time I learnt about the mouse, keyboard etc. From that day till now I am using Windows. I felt Mac has a steep learning curve. We are so accustomed to C, D or E drives, and partition data. However, on Mac, it is so challenging to arrange the data. I have to go through tons of Youtube hours to learn and shift to Mac. I felt not worth it. So I use Mac for travelling and occasionally do web browsing. 

Fifty three

When you read inspiring stories, stressful situations and how near impossible things were achieved you feel inspired and feel wow, I also should do. However, when the same situation pops up in your life, you are tensed and blame the whole world for a problematic situation and talk about stress. Why so?

As I talked about this earlier, we want an easy life, and only mutants want hard life. Only mutants you see around- a few are success stories. I just wonder, can I trick my brain that I am a mutant?

Fiftytwo

On Monday, I was back to old myself, lazy and given up. By Tuesday I pulled back my self. Today I am feeling better. I learnt from observing my own behaviour, and I was fascinated by how the brain operates. How our boy and brain are optimised to conserve energy and consume calories. That means being lazy and eating a lot. The cavemen had few things to prove in life. Their only objective was to survive. But the present-day goal is more than that. Peer approval, recommendation and appreciation fuel our brain and carve for more. To achieve great things you need to work hard and waste less time. As I mentioned above, we are not evolved to do so. Few of them who has different genetic makeup think beyond survival and enjoying. This tribe shape humanity for good or bad. 

Fiftyone

If you drink alcohol, in the morning you will have the hangover. It is valid for mindless wasting of time. Whenever I spend hours on review sites of camera, lenses, automobiles and bike, I feel the same. Just like alcohol, time wasting is also an addiction. From many years I am trying to get out of this but failed. The only positive thing is I have never given up. I wish before I cross fifty I will spend time meaningfully. 

Fifty

I missed a week of blogging. I went to Bengaluru and family function, totally missed this. I am lazy today to write, forcing myself to write a few sentences. Hopefully, from tomorrow, I should be able to write more words. 

Forty nine

When you force yourself to write something, nothing pops up in the brain. The same thing happens when my daughter asks for a bedtime story. I would say I don't have a story, she would insist, I end up in telling the story from the internet. But she insists on original stories. I start very, but slowly I get into that and come up with an exciting story. 

Today I am getting late, I have to take a flight, but I have to write something. One of the most recurring thought for me is why I except some appreciation for the work or for the art? I wonder what does recognition would do? Nothing much for two mins I feel good and then life moves on. But I think the human brain is evolved to receive appreciation and it will complete the reward circle and thereby motivated to next thing. So let me not be so sad about expectation, it is all about the evolution of the brain. 

Forty eight

In the morning I watched a TED talk on artificial intelligence. Instead of the obvious question, my brain started thinking about my daughter's education. Yesterday I was called to school for a discussion about my daughter's poor performance. I went in with a very defensive mindset as any other parent " my kid is ok". But the problem was not about her intelligence but was about her spellings. I too have the same problem. Luckily now I am doing most of the writing on computer and spellings are taken care of. However, she has a tough time. I need to find out is it a genetic problem or a teaching problem.

Oh, I went elsewhere from AI. What I should teach my daughter for the future. I am sure that except the basic maths, rest of things taught in school are irrelevant for the future generation. They should explain about thinking and connecting dots. All the information they are teaching is on Wikipedia, students always can go and read. 

Forty seven

Lot of things to do. Canon has released a new camera and is very tempting. When you can't go to the next level in the skill set, you try to buy next level tools to compensate for your shortcomings. Like, I am supposed to go out and do cycling every day, I am not doing that. Instead, I am looking for a better cycle. This is true with the camera and lens too. When we can't achieve great things in life, we tend to buy big cars, big houses and other fancy stuff with money. Though money can be used on tools to achieve great things, However, you cant, buy an accomplishment with the money. 

Forty six

Against all odds that is a Youtube series by Olympic channel. From the age of 14, I have been reading all sort of positive thinking, motivational and inspiring books and stories. These pushed me to the next level in life. Though I did not achieve great things, I move out of mundane things. I keep losing focus, being lazy. These books, now these videos are like oxygen to keep me moving. I know this is a kind of addiction, but for me, it is an excellent addition. 

Forty five

My cousin has come to India from Switzerland after two and a half years. TIll now he has not ventured out. I am very curious to see his reaction about the changes happened here. Politics, Aadahar, mobile revolution and many more things.
I will update that soon. 

Forty four

India is moving ahead. Lot more to be done. Few observations. First, safety - we don't care about. Cleanliness we do not take pride in being clean. So what is in our priority list? Indians are trying to upgrade into the next level of living. Better phone, bike, car and home. Satey and cleanliness are sacrificed for the upgradation process. The family of 5 can afford a bike, all 5 will go on that bike. If you go late to work, you lose salary, and people work in multiple jobs for a better living. Time is money. So people cross the railway track, people die. The focus of the entire class of people to move ahead in life as fast as possible.

Aiming high

Forty three

Procrastination is fun. Often puts me in trouble. I find my productivity zooms in a tight schedule. So I  keep all the work piling up till the end. But in the end, procrastination hampered my education, money and fame. I make grand plans but never put into practice.

If you are in the fruit market in India, the seller will offer, sir, this is very tasty, have a bite. That is the end of bargaining from your side. You accepted the free drink, and you are morally obliged to buy from him. This happens all the time. Milkman, sir, don't worry, I will supply to your third-floor house, I accepted, now even though his service is terrible, I am a bit hesitant to discontinue his service. Now I am cautious about this and keep looking for danger signal of "free drink".

Tricky 

Forty Two

Do you need to take a risk in life? Or play safe? We also talk about calculated risk, oh that is not a risk. I am not a risk taker. But can I take the chance? I should make a decision. What, where, how I need to think. Taking risk itself is a risk. I have gone into too deep in the comfort zone in life. How do I come out? I need to set some tough targets? What are they? I plan, dream and I never venture into reality. Till I go out and try out something new, my life will slip away.

The sunk cost fallacy; I spent enough time and energy in this endeavour, and I make it work even though it is not working. I moved to a new home, after a lot of contemplating, my computer table is placed in the master bedroom. Now I realise that it was not the right place. But I don't want to move it to another room, I have made electrical connections, too big a table to move and I have convinced about this table to my "the wife". So even it is uncomfortable I am not changing it. It is true with few stocks I hold, I spent enough research on those stocks, I can't sell them. It is right for my new pair of jeans also, bought online, I am not liking fitting, but I paid a lot of money I should use it though it is very uncomfortable.
Oh, I need to get out of this.

Keep an eye on TIME

Forty One

We are overconfident about digital data storage. I back up all the photos on PC and now Google photos. Earlier, I used to back up on Flickr. Last week one of my hard disks died. Most of my daughter's pictures were there on the disc. All of a sudden I realised nothing is safe. The hard drive is given to a professional data recovery centre, and he is charging an exorbitant price to recover it. Flickr is closing down and asking us to back up our photo or pay more. I should shoot fewer photos and delete unwanted images. Backup the most essential pictures in two places. Cloud back up for high-resolution DSLR photos may be an expensive option for me.

The answer seeking human mind- why we have so many theories about life after death or "why this happened only to me" or any unanswered questions. Our mind seeks a pattern or answer in everyday life. We never like any movie with an ending without a definitive answer. Once there is no answer, we make a response using all the resources and experiences of our life. This looks like, you are wearing red shirts, that's why more accidents happen with you. Or you shifted to that building, people stay there are more prone to make a financial loss. Or you can see someone finding the shape of Ganesha in a tree branch or a cross in the stone, this list is endless. It is all the manifestation of the answer-seeking the human brain.

Some meaning in this?

Forty

Two day weekend started. Already wasted one hour on the internet. Time to move ahead. I am sticking to this habit of blogging every day. But unable to stick to other habits planned so far.

Social proof or I would call five-star evidence. When I am shopping online, I often see the five-star rating and buy. Even in the shop, I would ask, which one is the famous model, or which product is the highest selling? As humans, we tend to follow the crowd. This is the reason why in all stock information, the volume is indicated. High volume means buying or selling. The sheep mentality of the following crowd is in genes. Because this trait has been selected during millions of years of evolution. Why? Because at least there is a 50 % chance that "the crowd "is right, so you are also correct. This behaviour evolved to escape the dangers of the African savannah. Fight or flight, the lion is not there, but still, you ran, the downside is minimum, but if the lion was there then that is death. I have one more observation on this. We follow the crowd on both directions up and down. Let us say, one product is good, first 10 people gave a 5-star rating, but the next three gave a one-star rating, then we follow in the opposite direction.

I am confused here. Sometimes society or crowd select most optimum conditions or products. But then, crowd select some stupid and list optimum conditions or products. Therefore, we need to be more rational and more thinking, since we are no more in African Savanna running away from the lion.

Ponder 

Thirty nine

I am lazy today and have a throat infection. Can't think much... watching random Youtube channels. 

Thirty eight

 You are free and drift into net surfing without any purpose. Once you are there, you try to find some meaning, some reviews, random pieces of news to follow. This could easily consume 2 hours are more. After that, how will be your mood? Well, my spirit will be very low. I keep all day to optimise the time, and in between, I lost 2 hours, I feel frustrated, cheated or kind of hangover.

I think I should make time slots for each activity. More than that I should have a list of things that I could read on the net.

The other topic is about top universities and schools. Are students admitted go to IITs are successful? Or is these are great learning places, that would make an ordinary student to extraordinary student? I don't think so. All top universities are top universities because they get the best students, in terms of intellect and hardworking. These students have a very high rate of peer learning than learning from a professor. Exceptions are there, but often it is peer learning. If you really want to learn something new, make friends who are good at that subject. 

Confused

Thirty seven

We often overestimate success. Success is all about being in the right place and the right time. Of course, all the ingredients like hard work, focus, good habits and many more which are listed in the winner's book are needed. But luck or coincidences play a significant role in success.

I keep giving advice to students and my daughter about how to be successful. But when I see my own life, there were so many incidents that could have changed the course of my life. Example, I reached late for my post graduation admission by 10 mins, if the bus got delayed by another 5 min, I would have ended up in my village as a farmer instead of being a scientist. There are many this kind of incidents led me to present day job. Yes, I worked hard, focused and pushed myself beyond limits.

Still, success is all about chance. If you keep your mind open and alert the probability of happy coincidences would increase. If you are proactive and seek the opportunity, there is more likely that you would do better.

Success

Thirty six

Dieting is a strange phenomenon only for our species. All organisms from bacteria to Homo sapiens are evolved to eat better and divide. A twist in the gene changed a few things for us. We were able to imagine the things, and thereby we are now typing blogs along with other things. However, the twist in the gene did not change everything suitable to present day living. Rest of the brain and body metabolism stayed back in the last millennium. Ancient brain and body together searched for scarce food all day; the energy spent to seek the food and food that is consumed were balanced out. However, now the brain and body are searching for food all day, and the food is everywhere — minimum energy spent on a portion of high-calorie food. Unfortunately, we have no control over this ancient machine, often gives us an illusion that we are in control of everything.

The only way to escape this just keeping minimum food at home and not venturing into any environment very high-calorie surplus food is around. 

Melting self-control 

Thirty five

Today is Monday. Two meetings are there. Sometimes I wonder about meetings. People give so many opinions which are not necessary. Why they talk so much nonsense? Is it because they have a valid point or they want their presence felt? I often find most of the 2-hour meetings could be quickly finished in 30 mins. Wait, people may be thinking about me also same way? Could be. I guess I even should talk if my point is very valid and contributing to the matter. What I found about myself is just like how often it is so difficult to resist a sweet or to buy a gadget, similarly to talk is an urge (like itching) difficult to control.

Dance and destroy bad thoughts

Thirty four

Building a new PC for photo editing. My friend gave his PC build configuration. But as usual, I wanted to explore the basics of each component. From the last 2 weeks, I am going through reviews, technical articles. I found that there are much faster hard drives than SSD. I learnt about graphics cards and processors.
Finally, I found out that, more cores are needed for better photo and video editing. This is gross summary out of too many technical stuff I read and understood.
The first PC, I bought a used one for Rs. 2000 ($28) with 512 MB ram. My next upgrade including monitor was around Rs 20 000 ($285) with an AMD processor 4 GB ram. The processor busted after 5 years of use. Next upgrade was without monitor and hard disc as I was already had them from the previous PC.  This PC was built with Intel i3, 3.3 GHz entry-level processor with 16 GB ram but the relatively future proof motherboard (Rs 20 000 - $285). This PC is running from past 8 years. Recently power supply died, and I replaced with a new one. This PC is working perfectly fine for web browsing or word or excel. But terribly slow for photo editing and dead slow for video editing. Bootup time, it takes 10 min.
Now I want to get a good future proof (relatively) PC build. This is costing me Rs 70000 ($ 1000).
Till now I haven't pulled the trigger, read the pros and cons, value for money etc. 

Complicated but elegant 

Thirty-three

In a Tagore's novel, Gora, the protagonist makes one statement when he was asked why you are so rigid and follow so many rules in life. He said "rules hold life, if I relax one knot, another knot will relax and this will leads to ultimate chaos. The same thing happens on weekends. On weekdays you have to go to the office, drop your kids to school and your timeline is fixed. The day is streamlined. On a weekend day, you will relax, and your habits go haywire. On Monday morning you are sad and tired to go to the office. It is not because office work is tedious, maybe because you wasted two days doing nonsense.

I wanted to write on one topic for a month. I have decided to write on "bias". Writing a random content vs some quality stuff - plenty of effort and time is needed to write on a specific subject.

Step by step

Thirty two

Beyond one month. Beyond thirty-one day month. Not bad. Let me review what I logged from past thirty-one days. Most of the entries were just the sketches of incidents happened in everyday life. Few were introspect kind of posts. I haven't created good content, which someone would spend their time on.

This month, I am planning to write on one theme. I haven't thought about which subject, I will take one more day to decide. I am terrified to commit to this.

Come on....