Eighty one

What I am supposed to teach my daughter? I am sure about the irrelevance of the school. Today morning I was watching this Google talk Yuval Noah Harari: "21 Lessons for the 21st Century" | Talks at Google. Prof. Harari emphasis on emotional intelligence and capabilities to reinvent many times in life. This is an intriguing suggestion. But I have to study and understand these concepts so that I can teach this to my daughter.

Eighty

Enjoying a process is like meditation. When I am doing macro photography, I am deeply immersed in that. Angles, light and shallow depth of field takes me to another world. At the same time often I don't get a satisfactory end product (photo). Even more often the audience won't appreciate your work, and you feel frustrated. I know that I should not go by the judgement of others. But that is only theory, we have evolved to seek appreciation from fellow human beings. When my daughter wants to flaunt her new dress or pencil box, I feel irritated and would tell her, be simple, and that is not good to show off. But the Sotic sitting deep inside me would say, don't you expect that other people appreciate your photography. Don't you flaunt your F1.2 lens? Yes, I do. Let me keep my mouth shut. 

Seventy nine

I am pursuing photography from a decade. From the last two years, I had lost interest in photography. I was doing that but not with the enthusiasm of the beginning. Reading blogs, books and Youtube, I learnt that professionals don't care for mood, creativity or getting bored of doing a thing, they keep doing what they are doing. I too used similar mantra here. Whether I liked it or not I keep shooting and editing photos. Often it was boring and frustrating. Again I am back to photography and trying to even videography. It is obvious that I am spending more time on review sites and checking out prices. Though it doesn't help in improving photography, reading about gear and technology is fun. 

Seventy eight

Today is my daughter's result day! She is not worried. Worry is a big word at the age of 10. She is more concerned about her Youtube access than results. Here we are in the next generation. I am really not sure about the need for handwriting, and all those things taught in the school are relevant in 2030. The technology and the world is changing too fast. I really don't know what to teach her. But logic and common sense are needed forever. But there are hardly any tools and course to explain these two skill sets. I am also trying to teach her resilience, it is so difficult to teach. As a parent, I don't want to put her in difficult situations. However, without rough patches, you hardly learn lessons which no school nor university would teach. I am finding a way to stimulate conditions which seems harsh to her.  

Seventy seven

I keep reading many personality developments, productivity and positive thinking kind of books. It is a kind of addiction. Very often I failed to put them in practice. I was introduced to these kinds of books by my grandfather. I don't think he read these books. Because our home library doesn't contain this kind of books. He was worried about me and must have bought them exclusively for me. Now after more than 40 years, one strange realisation happened to me. Most of the things written in these books were practised by my grandfather in his day to day life. How did he know all these things? No idea, but a tough childhood, stressful life, in the beginning, must have taught him these pearls of wisdom. He accomplished great stuff in his life, and I think he wanted some of his kids or grand-kids would follow his footsteps. Unfortunately, none of us rose to his height. I would say we all got too much of comfort in life. 

Seventy six

From the past few months, my skin allergy has gone up. It is irresistible and you end up scratching and more you scratch more itching will popup. I found the same thing with shopping. One lens review would lead you to the shopping site and you are looking all around. This leads to taking a look at a new camera or a tripod or a flash. The chain is endless. Forcibly you move out away from the internet, it will subsidise and senses come back. It is true with itching also. If itching temptation is too high, you distract is by watching something or reading something or go for a jog, it will subside and eventually disappear. 

Seventy five

My flirting with stock market dates back to 2009. Somehow I failed to sustain the interest and momentum in investing. After one year of active investing, reading tons of books, I slipped back to passive investment through mutual funds. Whenever I hate to go to work, I wished I had financial retirement and do something else, I am stuck in the same job. When this topic pops up in the brain again, I get motivated to go to the stock market to make some money. I know after a decade in the market that becoming a real millionaire is a slow process. This year again I have started with the stock market, but not with great enthusiasm. Let me see how does it go. I also know that most of the wealthiest people on this planet got there by being in the right place at the right time and doing the right thing! Hoping luck favours ready mind, I am taking this jump. 

Seventy four

Discerning noise from signal in life brings mental peace. But often I found myself enjoying the noise. Because enjoying noise allow you to procrastinate. Why do I procrastinate? I found that I avoid certain uncomfortable situations. When I force myself into doing the things I don't want to do, I will finish the work and feel great about that. 

Seventy three

I missed two days of blogging. "Routine is the enemy of time" was the comment of a cyclist, who quit his job to cycling. According to him, if you fall into regular time fly fast and you will never notice that. Partially I agree with him. But routines make your life easy and you can focus on other things in life. We have more things to do than a snake. That is what my daughter said. We were rescuing a  baby snake of the common Krait. The snake was small but very aggressive.  After a few attempts, we were able to move the snake to a safe place. I was wondering why was that so aggressive. My daughter said, all other animals need to defend enemy, eat and sleep and they are not humans. Humans have a lot of other things to do than just survival. I was stunned to hear this thing from a 10-year-old. 

Seventy two

Will power. I read and experienced the fact is that will power is not an infinite quantity. Often we forget that the brain is an organ just like leg or hand or heart or liver. It works like any other organ. It also would vary in its capacity to carry out stuff, just like some are good runners and some are not. In 100 meter finals of Olympics, you hardly find any white skin man/women. Why? Because they can't compete with a sports person from African origin, whose muscle built is unique for fast contrasting and giving the burst. Similarly, our brain has a different capacity to carry out tough tasks. Some have more willpower as compared to others. Further, if you use willpower in the morning in resisting buying an online phone, soon after you are offered a super calorie-rich food, you can't resist that food. Why? Because you have already used up your willpower in opposing of buying the phone. I just stated a simple example, but that is how it works. 

Seventy one

Today was Holi, colour's festival. My daughter was too excited about it. She got up so early and was asking me, can we fast forward the time. What a question! A kid has all possibilities. When I was a kid, I was so sure that, one day I will see God, and wanted to ask for 3 boons. I was confused about what to ask, so I thought long and wrote down three boons and kept below the pillow. These infinite possibilities slowly disappear as they grow up. Older you get, more pessimistic you become. I need to find a way to be more optimistic and think like a kid. 

Seventy

As an amateur, I spend a lot of time on photography forums and review sites. From the past 10 years, I have learnt many tricks and intricacies of photography. In most photography forums, we talk more about the sharp photo and less about art. Whenever, I come across pro photographers in marriage, sports or any other function, I am astonished to know that they don't understand many technicalities and relevance of camera, light and composition. I also found that they don't read any reviews before buying the camera (all this applies to India not sure about the rest of the world). But at the end of the photo session, they have more keepers than us. What do they do? In their world, photography is learnt via peer learning. They have a bunch of settings for each situation and function. Aperture, white balance, flash, lens focal length and ISO setting all are well defined. For situation A, setting X is used, for situation B, setting Y is used- simple and straight forward formula.  Camera buying depends on market demand since customers are aware of full frame, APS-C etc.; before hiring, customers would ask what camera and lens will you use for my function? Therefore, even though a low-end camera would suffice the purpose, the pro will buy the high-end camera to satisfy the customer demand. Apart from that pro photographer will decide his camera based on opinions from their professional friends, service centres and camera shops. I really don't think they read a lot of reviews. A pro knows that Canon 5DMark IV or Nikon 850 or Sony A7R are fail-proof, fancy looking and proven market models. One more reason they buy only these cameras because it is easy to find used lenses, spare parts and the most important thing - there is always a fellow pro photographer is there to teach menus, settings of these cameras. 

Sixty nine

Time is like carrying water in a sieve. Before I realized I had missed two days of blogging. Often I realized that it is extremely difficult to understand human behaviour. Nowadays I found that understanding my own behaviour and mood is also difficult. So large part of our own brain is beyond our grasp. Therefore, I need to think twice before reaching a conclusion. The conclusion on any given topic is not final it is flexible. 

Sixty eight

When I am cycling or walking, I will get some ideas and plan to write on them. But I forget it later. So next time whenever I get an idea I should write and keep it. The weekend is getting over fast many things to finish. Tomorrow morning I should go for photography for sure. I also plan to go for a long cycle ride. I purposefully won't do it, or Youtube is stealing it? I have no clue. Getting inspired by reading great stuff is so easy but putting that to action is so difficult. I have to find ways to get rid of short term gratifications. Oh today, I am also supposed to learn some amount of Video editing. I have to finish that, I have set a target to myself- if I complete making the video, I will buy that software. 

Sixty seven

The exam is history and marks are the mystery - live in the present! This is what told by my daughter when I asked her about the exam. Humans are evolving fast. Generation gaps are reducing, even a couple of years can have a generation gap. I am trying my best to keep her with. But born in the 70s and adjusting to the present day is tough. I think our generation is the one who went through a maximum transition of the digital era. Started with cassette player to CD player, MP3 player to online listening. This transition happened from photos, bank, shopping and many more. If you really want to experience this transition, just put off wifi and mobile data for a week!

Sixty six

I am unable to write anything. This means I haven't spent time on introspection or thinking. We don't sit idle in the smartphone era. All companies want us to spend time on their website. When you are forced to think; you tend to think. Is it called meditation? Maybe. Every day my daughter asks for a story; from the past 6 years, I am telling a story every day. She forces me to think about a new story every day. Often I was frustrated with this. Because, every day I can't create an original story and as she grew, she demanded more complicated and compelling stories. But eventually, she forced me to think. For being creative, we have to spend time without doing anything.

Sixty five

Each task looks humungous in the beginning. I wonder what shall I do, how do I complete this. I will procrastinate that. But eventually, I have to do that and finish it. This feeling is exactly like the first plunge into the swimming pool during a cold day. Once you are in the water, you are fine. Mostly it is the brain that doesn't want to change the comfort of the moment. It is true with cycling also. I have to change the dress, wear the helmet and gloves, the brain resist till it can. So the secret of getting ahead is getting started.  

Sixty four

Thoughts keep repeating. We love ourselves more than anything else in life. Therefore sacrifices and selfless act are highlighted and get attention. Often I don't like my personality. Sometimes I feel that I am wearing a mask. The question bothers me is " Am I really good person?" or " acting like a good person". When you act like someone for a very long time, you become that person, isn't it? 

Sixty three

Yesterday was the first serious step towards learning Video making. The learning curve is steep. Just like photography. If someone thinks, he knows photography and could easily shift to making the video, it is not true. Things to learn are,

1. Gear- camera and lens
2. Voice- mike and voice recording devices 
3. Tripod or gimbal for stable footage
4. ND filters for bright light
5. Lighting 
6. Video formats, raw, bit rate etc
7. Software editing
8. Story and script 

I hope my list is comprehensive and long.  

Sixty two

All life is a race. Shall I pause and enjoy or work hard and do something great? Why we want our names to be remembered forever? What drives a  few people beyond their limit. Aren't, they fool, not enjoying a the day to day life? Afterlife is over, you don't exist and whatever you achieve or don't achieve immaterial — plenty of confusion and controversy. Here I am, caught between a lazy philosophy and becoming a great philosophy. 

Sixty one

Today I am late to log. Passing the time with Youtube and review sites. Testing waters for learning cinematography. Starting with a gimbal. I am searching, do I need one? Since I have a camera with sensor stabilisation. I also downloaded the trial version of Corel video studio. Still, this is not an uncomfortable zone. I have to find really some awkward things to do. Cold water bath for a month, or a month without sugar, or complete fasting for 24 h or bare minimum budget month.  

Sixty

Facing the wrong things in life is difficult. Yesterday I was reading a blog urging me to be prepared. It is a valid point. But our brain is a different beast. It always understands good and bad. However, we often fail to follow what is right in the long term. Because long term rewards will not give pleasure or happiness as short term laziness would provide. Though we are the only mammals who can visualise the at to come future, still most of our brain is primate one, looking for short term gain or even avoid to think in the long term.

I need to make a list of things which I need to do put me out of my comfort zone. That would familiarise me to face the unwanted stuff.

Fifty nine

My brain is an unusual one. I get perturbed by small incidents. The mind would replay the whole episode. I think all the alternatives for the given event. I wish I had spoken that way, or I had taken that action or I shouldn't have said those words. But the incident is passed, and I can't do anything about that. These replays continue until the brain gets tired or it has one more incident to worry about. Sometimes I am frustrated and often fascinated by this. Even though there are many more significant things to worry about, I find more interest in worrying about mundane things. It is like itching. Once you start itching, that will lead more itching.

Fifty eight

My daughter wanted to sleep alone. She kept alarm to get up early. I had no idea about her plans. Early morning, I observed someone moving around, I thought my wife got up, and she was to go on an office tour. But I found her sleeping. Oh, my daughter, up by 5 AM and she is getting ready for school. She took a cold shower and prepared by 5.30 Am. She gave me a hug and woke me up, oh what a surprise. The story is not over yet. She was reluctant to sleep again because school opens only at 7.30 Am. I asked her to rest for a while. At 7.10 Am, I called her, get up time to go to school. She looked at the clock, horror struck as if the whole world crashed on her; crying rolling on the ground, I am not able to reason it out. She said, all her effort was to be the first student to be there at school by 7 AM.

Now my wife is angry. She is upset that you should not allow all these things, getting up so early etc. I had to convince her that, this is the fun of childhood, freedom is an essential part of growing up, but she is not convinced.

Oh, this morning I was trying to calm two women! Crazy........

Fifty seven

Getting off the bus is comfortable and getting on often tricky. Now the third month of the new year, I am struggling to stick to the plan I had at the beginning of the year.

Losing the ground is common but gaining back the tricky part. So I need to keep my goals pinned on the desktop and stick to that. I also started to keep a record of losing the way in between, That would help me to gauge my true self-discipline vs assumed self-discipline.

So easy to set goals and difficult to achieve them. I need to build a system to make them. 

Fifty six

I upgraded the Computer. PC. This time it was a desperate attempt to make the computer future proof. I ended up spending money beyond my budget.

PC is home. I have an original Windows 10 home license. Because many people in India don't know the fact OS is bought, they think that it is part of the computer. Windows updating is a pain. Many bluescreens and incompatibilities, after more than 20 hours of effort computer is working smoothly. Wait, why Google Chrome is not working? Yes, Microsoft edge working but not chrome. After spending more than 3 hours on the internet, found a temporary solution. Not happy but it is working.

This is the reason why people don't want to change. The learning curve is steep, the adaptation process is painful, and the insecurity feeling is always there. We will learn only when we are in an uncomfortable zone, we learn when the system doesn't work as expected. But inherent lethargy would inhibit us. Deliberately we have to get out of our comfort zone. I should get into an uncomfortable area, step by step if not a dramatic shift. 

Fifty five

Why am  I right always? I feel I am right, I know for sure the rest of the world is stupid. How can they be so stupid, can't they understand the simplest things? It is not just my thought, most of us think so. Strange isn't it? Maybe our brain evolved to think it is the best? why so? Need to find out.

Fifty four

My PC is down. I am typing on a Mac. Small laptop, easy to carry and use. I tried my best to shift to the Apple ecosystem. I was introduced to the computer in late 2000. That was the first time I learnt about the mouse, keyboard etc. From that day till now I am using Windows. I felt Mac has a steep learning curve. We are so accustomed to C, D or E drives, and partition data. However, on Mac, it is so challenging to arrange the data. I have to go through tons of Youtube hours to learn and shift to Mac. I felt not worth it. So I use Mac for travelling and occasionally do web browsing. 

Fifty three

When you read inspiring stories, stressful situations and how near impossible things were achieved you feel inspired and feel wow, I also should do. However, when the same situation pops up in your life, you are tensed and blame the whole world for a problematic situation and talk about stress. Why so?

As I talked about this earlier, we want an easy life, and only mutants want hard life. Only mutants you see around- a few are success stories. I just wonder, can I trick my brain that I am a mutant?

Fiftytwo

On Monday, I was back to old myself, lazy and given up. By Tuesday I pulled back my self. Today I am feeling better. I learnt from observing my own behaviour, and I was fascinated by how the brain operates. How our boy and brain are optimised to conserve energy and consume calories. That means being lazy and eating a lot. The cavemen had few things to prove in life. Their only objective was to survive. But the present-day goal is more than that. Peer approval, recommendation and appreciation fuel our brain and carve for more. To achieve great things you need to work hard and waste less time. As I mentioned above, we are not evolved to do so. Few of them who has different genetic makeup think beyond survival and enjoying. This tribe shape humanity for good or bad. 

Fiftyone

If you drink alcohol, in the morning you will have the hangover. It is valid for mindless wasting of time. Whenever I spend hours on review sites of camera, lenses, automobiles and bike, I feel the same. Just like alcohol, time wasting is also an addiction. From many years I am trying to get out of this but failed. The only positive thing is I have never given up. I wish before I cross fifty I will spend time meaningfully. 

Fifty

I missed a week of blogging. I went to Bengaluru and family function, totally missed this. I am lazy today to write, forcing myself to write a few sentences. Hopefully, from tomorrow, I should be able to write more words. 

Forty nine

When you force yourself to write something, nothing pops up in the brain. The same thing happens when my daughter asks for a bedtime story. I would say I don't have a story, she would insist, I end up in telling the story from the internet. But she insists on original stories. I start very, but slowly I get into that and come up with an exciting story. 

Today I am getting late, I have to take a flight, but I have to write something. One of the most recurring thought for me is why I except some appreciation for the work or for the art? I wonder what does recognition would do? Nothing much for two mins I feel good and then life moves on. But I think the human brain is evolved to receive appreciation and it will complete the reward circle and thereby motivated to next thing. So let me not be so sad about expectation, it is all about the evolution of the brain. 

Forty eight

In the morning I watched a TED talk on artificial intelligence. Instead of the obvious question, my brain started thinking about my daughter's education. Yesterday I was called to school for a discussion about my daughter's poor performance. I went in with a very defensive mindset as any other parent " my kid is ok". But the problem was not about her intelligence but was about her spellings. I too have the same problem. Luckily now I am doing most of the writing on computer and spellings are taken care of. However, she has a tough time. I need to find out is it a genetic problem or a teaching problem.

Oh, I went elsewhere from AI. What I should teach my daughter for the future. I am sure that except the basic maths, rest of things taught in school are irrelevant for the future generation. They should explain about thinking and connecting dots. All the information they are teaching is on Wikipedia, students always can go and read. 

Forty seven

Lot of things to do. Canon has released a new camera and is very tempting. When you can't go to the next level in the skill set, you try to buy next level tools to compensate for your shortcomings. Like, I am supposed to go out and do cycling every day, I am not doing that. Instead, I am looking for a better cycle. This is true with the camera and lens too. When we can't achieve great things in life, we tend to buy big cars, big houses and other fancy stuff with money. Though money can be used on tools to achieve great things, However, you cant, buy an accomplishment with the money. 

Forty six

Against all odds that is a Youtube series by Olympic channel. From the age of 14, I have been reading all sort of positive thinking, motivational and inspiring books and stories. These pushed me to the next level in life. Though I did not achieve great things, I move out of mundane things. I keep losing focus, being lazy. These books, now these videos are like oxygen to keep me moving. I know this is a kind of addiction, but for me, it is an excellent addition. 

Forty five

My cousin has come to India from Switzerland after two and a half years. TIll now he has not ventured out. I am very curious to see his reaction about the changes happened here. Politics, Aadahar, mobile revolution and many more things.
I will update that soon. 

Forty four

India is moving ahead. Lot more to be done. Few observations. First, safety - we don't care about. Cleanliness we do not take pride in being clean. So what is in our priority list? Indians are trying to upgrade into the next level of living. Better phone, bike, car and home. Satey and cleanliness are sacrificed for the upgradation process. The family of 5 can afford a bike, all 5 will go on that bike. If you go late to work, you lose salary, and people work in multiple jobs for a better living. Time is money. So people cross the railway track, people die. The focus of the entire class of people to move ahead in life as fast as possible.

Aiming high

Forty three

Procrastination is fun. Often puts me in trouble. I find my productivity zooms in a tight schedule. So I  keep all the work piling up till the end. But in the end, procrastination hampered my education, money and fame. I make grand plans but never put into practice.

If you are in the fruit market in India, the seller will offer, sir, this is very tasty, have a bite. That is the end of bargaining from your side. You accepted the free drink, and you are morally obliged to buy from him. This happens all the time. Milkman, sir, don't worry, I will supply to your third-floor house, I accepted, now even though his service is terrible, I am a bit hesitant to discontinue his service. Now I am cautious about this and keep looking for danger signal of "free drink".

Tricky 

Forty Two

Do you need to take a risk in life? Or play safe? We also talk about calculated risk, oh that is not a risk. I am not a risk taker. But can I take the chance? I should make a decision. What, where, how I need to think. Taking risk itself is a risk. I have gone into too deep in the comfort zone in life. How do I come out? I need to set some tough targets? What are they? I plan, dream and I never venture into reality. Till I go out and try out something new, my life will slip away.

The sunk cost fallacy; I spent enough time and energy in this endeavour, and I make it work even though it is not working. I moved to a new home, after a lot of contemplating, my computer table is placed in the master bedroom. Now I realise that it was not the right place. But I don't want to move it to another room, I have made electrical connections, too big a table to move and I have convinced about this table to my "the wife". So even it is uncomfortable I am not changing it. It is true with few stocks I hold, I spent enough research on those stocks, I can't sell them. It is right for my new pair of jeans also, bought online, I am not liking fitting, but I paid a lot of money I should use it though it is very uncomfortable.
Oh, I need to get out of this.

Keep an eye on TIME

Forty One

We are overconfident about digital data storage. I back up all the photos on PC and now Google photos. Earlier, I used to back up on Flickr. Last week one of my hard disks died. Most of my daughter's pictures were there on the disc. All of a sudden I realised nothing is safe. The hard drive is given to a professional data recovery centre, and he is charging an exorbitant price to recover it. Flickr is closing down and asking us to back up our photo or pay more. I should shoot fewer photos and delete unwanted images. Backup the most essential pictures in two places. Cloud back up for high-resolution DSLR photos may be an expensive option for me.

The answer seeking human mind- why we have so many theories about life after death or "why this happened only to me" or any unanswered questions. Our mind seeks a pattern or answer in everyday life. We never like any movie with an ending without a definitive answer. Once there is no answer, we make a response using all the resources and experiences of our life. This looks like, you are wearing red shirts, that's why more accidents happen with you. Or you shifted to that building, people stay there are more prone to make a financial loss. Or you can see someone finding the shape of Ganesha in a tree branch or a cross in the stone, this list is endless. It is all the manifestation of the answer-seeking the human brain.

Some meaning in this?

Forty

Two day weekend started. Already wasted one hour on the internet. Time to move ahead. I am sticking to this habit of blogging every day. But unable to stick to other habits planned so far.

Social proof or I would call five-star evidence. When I am shopping online, I often see the five-star rating and buy. Even in the shop, I would ask, which one is the famous model, or which product is the highest selling? As humans, we tend to follow the crowd. This is the reason why in all stock information, the volume is indicated. High volume means buying or selling. The sheep mentality of the following crowd is in genes. Because this trait has been selected during millions of years of evolution. Why? Because at least there is a 50 % chance that "the crowd "is right, so you are also correct. This behaviour evolved to escape the dangers of the African savannah. Fight or flight, the lion is not there, but still, you ran, the downside is minimum, but if the lion was there then that is death. I have one more observation on this. We follow the crowd on both directions up and down. Let us say, one product is good, first 10 people gave a 5-star rating, but the next three gave a one-star rating, then we follow in the opposite direction.

I am confused here. Sometimes society or crowd select most optimum conditions or products. But then, crowd select some stupid and list optimum conditions or products. Therefore, we need to be more rational and more thinking, since we are no more in African Savanna running away from the lion.

Ponder 

Thirty nine

I am lazy today and have a throat infection. Can't think much... watching random Youtube channels. 

Thirty eight

 You are free and drift into net surfing without any purpose. Once you are there, you try to find some meaning, some reviews, random pieces of news to follow. This could easily consume 2 hours are more. After that, how will be your mood? Well, my spirit will be very low. I keep all day to optimise the time, and in between, I lost 2 hours, I feel frustrated, cheated or kind of hangover.

I think I should make time slots for each activity. More than that I should have a list of things that I could read on the net.

The other topic is about top universities and schools. Are students admitted go to IITs are successful? Or is these are great learning places, that would make an ordinary student to extraordinary student? I don't think so. All top universities are top universities because they get the best students, in terms of intellect and hardworking. These students have a very high rate of peer learning than learning from a professor. Exceptions are there, but often it is peer learning. If you really want to learn something new, make friends who are good at that subject. 

Confused

Thirty seven

We often overestimate success. Success is all about being in the right place and the right time. Of course, all the ingredients like hard work, focus, good habits and many more which are listed in the winner's book are needed. But luck or coincidences play a significant role in success.

I keep giving advice to students and my daughter about how to be successful. But when I see my own life, there were so many incidents that could have changed the course of my life. Example, I reached late for my post graduation admission by 10 mins, if the bus got delayed by another 5 min, I would have ended up in my village as a farmer instead of being a scientist. There are many this kind of incidents led me to present day job. Yes, I worked hard, focused and pushed myself beyond limits.

Still, success is all about chance. If you keep your mind open and alert the probability of happy coincidences would increase. If you are proactive and seek the opportunity, there is more likely that you would do better.

Success

Thirty six

Dieting is a strange phenomenon only for our species. All organisms from bacteria to Homo sapiens are evolved to eat better and divide. A twist in the gene changed a few things for us. We were able to imagine the things, and thereby we are now typing blogs along with other things. However, the twist in the gene did not change everything suitable to present day living. Rest of the brain and body metabolism stayed back in the last millennium. Ancient brain and body together searched for scarce food all day; the energy spent to seek the food and food that is consumed were balanced out. However, now the brain and body are searching for food all day, and the food is everywhere — minimum energy spent on a portion of high-calorie food. Unfortunately, we have no control over this ancient machine, often gives us an illusion that we are in control of everything.

The only way to escape this just keeping minimum food at home and not venturing into any environment very high-calorie surplus food is around. 

Melting self-control 

Thirty five

Today is Monday. Two meetings are there. Sometimes I wonder about meetings. People give so many opinions which are not necessary. Why they talk so much nonsense? Is it because they have a valid point or they want their presence felt? I often find most of the 2-hour meetings could be quickly finished in 30 mins. Wait, people may be thinking about me also same way? Could be. I guess I even should talk if my point is very valid and contributing to the matter. What I found about myself is just like how often it is so difficult to resist a sweet or to buy a gadget, similarly to talk is an urge (like itching) difficult to control.

Dance and destroy bad thoughts

Thirty four

Building a new PC for photo editing. My friend gave his PC build configuration. But as usual, I wanted to explore the basics of each component. From the last 2 weeks, I am going through reviews, technical articles. I found that there are much faster hard drives than SSD. I learnt about graphics cards and processors.
Finally, I found out that, more cores are needed for better photo and video editing. This is gross summary out of too many technical stuff I read and understood.
The first PC, I bought a used one for Rs. 2000 ($28) with 512 MB ram. My next upgrade including monitor was around Rs 20 000 ($285) with an AMD processor 4 GB ram. The processor busted after 5 years of use. Next upgrade was without monitor and hard disc as I was already had them from the previous PC.  This PC was built with Intel i3, 3.3 GHz entry-level processor with 16 GB ram but the relatively future proof motherboard (Rs 20 000 - $285). This PC is running from past 8 years. Recently power supply died, and I replaced with a new one. This PC is working perfectly fine for web browsing or word or excel. But terribly slow for photo editing and dead slow for video editing. Bootup time, it takes 10 min.
Now I want to get a good future proof (relatively) PC build. This is costing me Rs 70000 ($ 1000).
Till now I haven't pulled the trigger, read the pros and cons, value for money etc. 

Complicated but elegant 

Thirty-three

In a Tagore's novel, Gora, the protagonist makes one statement when he was asked why you are so rigid and follow so many rules in life. He said "rules hold life, if I relax one knot, another knot will relax and this will leads to ultimate chaos. The same thing happens on weekends. On weekdays you have to go to the office, drop your kids to school and your timeline is fixed. The day is streamlined. On a weekend day, you will relax, and your habits go haywire. On Monday morning you are sad and tired to go to the office. It is not because office work is tedious, maybe because you wasted two days doing nonsense.

I wanted to write on one topic for a month. I have decided to write on "bias". Writing a random content vs some quality stuff - plenty of effort and time is needed to write on a specific subject.

Step by step

Thirty two

Beyond one month. Beyond thirty-one day month. Not bad. Let me review what I logged from past thirty-one days. Most of the entries were just the sketches of incidents happened in everyday life. Few were introspect kind of posts. I haven't created good content, which someone would spend their time on.

This month, I am planning to write on one theme. I haven't thought about which subject, I will take one more day to decide. I am terrified to commit to this.

Come on....

Thirty one

Finally, here I am at my first milestone. It was not as bad as I thought. Few days in Kerala, I had log using mobile. The mobile interface is not that great.

This blogging every day from the past 30 days, made me aware of time. I lost 30 days and what did I learn or progress? Or is it necessary to improve?  But one thing I observed. When I am genuinely productive and learning something new, I feel happy and good about myself. When I have a lot of things to do and progress to make, I am at peace with myself. Not sure about meditation, but I am very confident about the fact that learning new thing would bring a lot of peace and happiness to life.

New 

Thirty

After 6 years I am upgrading my PC. I don't want to go into technical details. I keep asking myself, do I need an upgrade?

The present PC has worked well. At the end of the sixth year, power supply died and I replaced with a new one and PC is working fine.

However, photo editing software (Affinity photo), video editing is too slow. Booting up time is 5 mins. More than that, I have some excess money is sitting in my account! 

The constant itch to buy and read a lot of reviews is the true reason for buying a new PC or for that matter anything new.

It is a kind of addiction. However, reading reviews and understanding technology is a great way to keep updating with the ever-changing technology world. 

Twenty-nine

I am lazy. I started one new habit for the new year. I continued that till date. I felt good I thought, I will add few more. I was over enthusiastic and added 4 more. Difficult. Difficult for a lazy person like me. I think I need to add one by one can't add all at once.
Why we all feel great about doing something meaningful and find it difficult to do. Most of us know how to be successful but we fail to follow the well tested and super optimized methods passed on to us from the last two thousand years are more. This is because we fail to put the things in practice. The theory is important and putting into practice is more important,

Reflection 

Twenty- eight

Monday. The weekend was reasonably spent. Time wasted and also well used. Reading books still a challenge. The nonfiction books are difficult to focus. There is no story and only theory. Following a story is easy and gripping.
I have to make dal. Dal is an interesting dish. Every time I make dal it turns out to be different. A simple dish with amazing taste.
This weekend I have added a few more things along with this everyday blogging for "to do " list.

Twenty-seventh

Last night my daughter was asking what is cancer? I don't like these questions in the night. In the night, the brain doesn't work logically. Dark wired thoughts popup in night and chain of horrible thoughts follow that.
I said we will talk about that tomorrow. NO was the answer. I said, our own cells grow more and more, just like when you blow balloon beyond the limit, it will burst like that body would burst. She was reasonably convinced. But she wanted to know the consequences of that n to the family. Now I am terrified. I just started telling her a story.
She was also asking the difference between the love of husband and wife, father and daughter and brother and sister. She asked what is really love? I said liking. But to be honest I failed to give an answer.

Thinking is difficult 

Twenty-six

Today is "Republic Day" in India. We have come a long way from 1950. But we have many more things to do.
My country is complex. More than 1500 languages are spoken across the country. The accent of the same language would change within a few kilometres of travel. This is true for food also. So-called Indian food is just representative.
This is good and also disadvantageous for progress. It is always easy to manage the homogeneous population.
I strongly believe, the only way to develop our country is "education". Don't get confused with the school education. Our educational system needs a comprehensive overhaul. This is another lengthy topic for some other day.

Twenty-fifth

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast about asking questions. One most important thing that struck me was "people/students are rewarded for answers but not for asking questions" It is just the opposite. Those who asked most relevant and intelligent questions came up with innovations. One Noble laureate said I am not intelligent enough to ask a deep, pondering questions. For people who love deep and, thought-provoking questions should visit the website "Edge". Here every year one annual question is posted. The brightest minds around the globe would answer. These answers are collected and posted as a book.

 somewhere answer is there! 

Twenty-four

I managed to read more than one page of the book Thinking Fast and Slow. This log I am doing on 24th January but the blogger is showing published on 23rd January. I tried to solve this issue but found that it is a lot more complicated than I think. I have put that on the task list.
Time is passing very fast. I am planning to keep a log for time. Will life become boring? jor interesting? an experiment worth trying.

Twenty three

Selfishness. My daughter says it is good. I asked how? She said if I give up everything I will be on road. I asked her, why you don't like some girls and have cold wars? she said, if things around all look rosy, life will be boring. So I am learning many things from a 9-year-old.
Children imagination is unlimited. Our schools for sure killing the creativity. We don't need to learn so many things at school. I need to teach her to think. Difficult task. I am thinking and devising some methods. 

Twenty two

Natural selection. Survival of fittest. Darwin proposed that best set of features would prevail in the given conditions. Even smallest advantage would be favourable in long run and eventually, it will out-compete its nearest rival. For example how Gmail prevailed over other mail providers. It is true for everything.
However, often in spite of this vigorous selection pressure, some organs (appendix in the intestine) survive in the course of evolution. I also see in the modern society or in companies some people survive or make it to top of the organization without true capabilities handle that position. Is it because they are not smart in the job in the hand but exceptionally smart to knock out the competition? 

Twenty-one

The weekend was reasonably well spent. Though calorie count went out of hand! Did not read much, but sticking to read one page+ per day. Yes, went for a short photo shoot with my daughter. Just behind my building, a hill is there  and the sun sets behind that. Therefore, I lose at least one hour of direct sunlight. Sticking to the plan.
Monday, a number of things to do. I have to start planning hour basis checklist.

Perspective

Twenty

I said you are watching cartoons which show "black thoughts" and are not good for a ten-year-old girl. My daughter said, but you watch "black mirror". The only way to teach the kids is being a model and follow the rules yourself. They are blunt.
The checklist is long. But I still don't know what to do today. Maybe I go out for photography. After 20 days, I am adding a second new habit. Read one page of a  book (difficult to read and hard copy). I am starting with Thinking, Fast and Slow.  On Kindle, I will read one page or more, the book I selected is "Skin in the game". 

Le there be light

Nineteen

 "one more than eighteen; nine more than ten; 19."

An interesting definition for the number. The Saturday morning after a hectic week is like a speed breaker. I need to make a checklist as soon as possible otherwise Youtube will eat my weekend. I need to start reading a new book. Book buying is fun but reading not sure about that. I haven't done photography from quite sometime. I should go out this weekend. I will update and review the weekend on Monday post. 

Eighteen

This year I would like to list out the books I have read cover to cover and a separate list of books which are half read or a few pages/chapters. Let me see how would that go.
1. Atomic Habits - author - link and link for review and buy - good book- score- 8/10 - finished on 17-1-2019

Seventeen

Today morning started with a discussion about science in India. I don't want to get into right and wrong argument. My opinion and practice is that , let me try and put all my efforts to enhance and improve scientific and technological output that would help the nation.

Sixteen

Almost end of the day. Trying to log now. Busy day. Did some experiments with pineapple. All day busy. Staying in a town Muvattupuzha, Kerala. Interesting small town. But traffic jams are rampant. A topic for another day.

Fifteen

Logging from Kerala. After very long time traveling by train. Don't know how to check pnr , coach no, flatform etc. Finally in coach. Technology improved by leaps and bounds. Cleanliness. Is long way to go. With proper vision and administration Indian Railways can be most profitable company. High load on limited infrastructure.

Fourteen

First time in thirteen days, I forgot to put a post in the morning. Today I am travelling to Kerala. Before travel, I have a lot of uncertainty. I enjoy travelling but there will be always kind of anxiety in the background. 

Thirteen

Lazy Sunday. Many things to do. The Internet is stealing my time. When do I read my books? I should admit that I love buying books but I am not reading them. Even few pages of the books remain long in the memory but the stuff I read on the internet never lasts. Therefore, I should spend less time on the internet and more time with books. How to get away from the internet? It is not an easy thing. I need to devise a method or a plan to do so. Just like a food diary, I may have to maintain an "internet time" diary.
Why the internet is so addictive? My opinion is that the internet has infinite subjects; you get bored from one site, hop on to next site and if you really get bored of all these sites then you have Youtube or Twitter. When you are reading a book, if you get bored you have to search a new book. Physically searching some information is a forgotten art. Thanks to Google. That inhibition brings you back to the internet.

Think

Twelve

Today is Saturday. Many things to do. First thing is to make a to-do list! Recently shifted to a new place on the ground floor. When this apartment was constructed, only one person worked (male-husband!) and therefore atleast one person is there at home all day. Hence, no mailbox is provided at ground-floor. We both are working and we need a mail-box. Doorbell, mailbox arrived. I will post tomorrow the photo of the mailbox fixed on the wall. Time being I am going to the mall; you don't need the reason for that! Let me go and find the reason and come back and update!

Chinese market at Singapore

Eleven

Spelling has been the biggest nightmare from my childhood. I did spelling mistakes in my mother tongue Kannada and also in English. This could be an inherent problem in my brain for spellings. Or I read silently and not loudly pronouncing the words. And also maybe I don't pay attention to spellings. Now from past 18 years, I am using the computer and that saved me from the spelling problem. Now I am finding the same problem with my daughter. She too does spelling mistake in native language and English. Both of us are horrible with "a" and "e" usage. Seems genetics! or both of us are lazy and never say things loudly.
Finally, I am learning many spellings now!

I enjoy everything except........

Ten

Easy to preach, difficult to follow. I have my own image of "how I should be" I am trying to be that from past 20 years. Essentially I can't do what I preach. I realized this truth very late. Now I preach less, though not stopped! I need to stop.

The mind is like this; thoughts will go back to come again!

Nine

Couldn't get sleep at night. Don't know why. No sleep means a train of thoughts would begin. I always try to control them. I go to my dreamy world and assume myself an underdog in a game or president of a country and what all things I could do. But often night is not a good time for good thoughts. Often small worry would look like a big mountain. The same thought would look so silly in the morning.

Dream world 

Eight

Managed to write till the eighth day. Running out of subjects. My daughter watches a lot of cartoons and vlogs on youtube. Essentially she learnt more about American culture than Indian culture. She would say, I will shift to America. I ask her why? Her favourite singer, actor and Youtubers all are Americas and therefore she will shift there. I am telling many stories of Indian mythology, Indian freedom struggle and ancient heritage of our nation. Not very convinced by that. Hope she would realize as she grows up. Now she is nine years old.

Seven

Monday. The brain is flooded with things to do. Sometimes overwhelming and depressing. It doesn't mean that the work is difficult but it is mundane or getting too many permissions from higher-ups. Attending meetings also kind of boring.
Hard disc story: There were two partitions to the hard disc. One part, I was able to retrieve and the other one is showing a raw partition. I need to take it to a professional. 

Being brave on Monday.

Six

Today is Sunday. Every Sunday I would like to do some productive stuff. What about being lazy? I prefer to do that. Hide the to-do list. My hard-disc is still not working. They are charging more than Rs 5000/-($100). I am trying to recall the things were on that hard-disc and are they worth of money. I thought of reading some photography books. Thinking and imagining are so easy and doing is so difficult. We can always accuse and abuse the internet and today also I did the same. What's up takes up a lot of time. I moved What's up and Twitter from home screen to a folder. I muted the notification sound. The Twitter temptation was not much but, today I moved back What's up back to home screen. Today, haircut and colouring hair- getting old but holding on to a cliff!
  Time is everything beyond the age of 40! till then did a mistake of wasting THE time.

Five

Today I lost one hard disk. I am not sure what all stuff was there on that. Worried about unknown. I hope I could recover data from the hard disc. Maybe old photos, songs, books and many more. However, day to day work is not hampered. I will update once it is repaired.
So there are many things which we have kept saving assuming they are important and even when they are lost, we don't notice.

Four

So yesterday I cleaned the keyboard. I told this story to my daughter. She asked me, how did you put back all the keys in the same position. I asked her to think. She did not come up with the obvious answer that "take a photo and refer to that". She came up with two more alternatives which I did not think. She said you take out each key at a time, clean it and put it back. Another solution she said was' you type without seeing, so you know where the keys are and you put them back!. well ...you can't beat a kid in creative thinking.

Three

Are you a review addict? My keyboard was not working. New keyboard, wow start research. Wait, I should not be buying too many things. Let me see if I can clean and repair my keyboard.
I knew my daughter abused the keyboard with milk, chocolate, egg and many more eating stuff. Often the computer used as a dining table.
So I watched Youtube and as per suggestion, the keyboard was cleaned. 

Before the operation

Inside the keyboard

closer look

keys are taken out and kept in the same order 

 after vigorous cleaning with all possible solvents and a brush.

Now the keyboard is assembled back and is not working!  

wow

I am buying a new keyboard without any guilt! 

l

Two

Oh, today, I am doing this thing now! I will finish this task and then waste my time on the net. This tree must have taken years to grow, cell by cell. As a species, we are just like any other species. The tree is not concerned about where it is growing or how much water it is consuming; we too.

One

First post of 2019. Still, 18 min remaining for the next day. Snail pace... one step at a time.

First day at School

I wonder about her thoughts and emotions of the first day at school. I don't remember mine.  I do remember about primary school days, but not the first day.

Duality

Be content with what you have; don't be adventurous, no risk and lot of peace of mind. I want many things in life, want to be famous ready to sacrifice mental peace.
Thinking.............